Palutena's Meme Team
by magicegg
Summary: When the weeaboo menace takes over the Smash Shopping District, and more importantly, Bed Bath and Beyond, Palutena decides that it's time to strike back, and thus the Meme Team was born! But is a new group on the rise as well? -CRACK FIC - Rated T for swearing and other stuff idk have fun kids ;)
1. The team assembles!

It was an ordinary evening in the Smash Mansion, Mario was arguing with Bowser, Kirby was probably eating, Sonic was being a douchebag and everyone else was just doing their own damn thing.

"WHAT'S UP MOTHERFUCKERS!" It was…...Ganondorf! He had walked into the kitchen with a bag from Hot Topic, where he got his new bottle of black nail polish.

"UGH, GANONDORF STOP YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME! said Dark Pit. "Son, I've told you a million times, just call me Dad" Ganondorf smiled at his step-son. "UGH, _Dad_ you're such an ASS" said Dark Pit in his slight jersey accent. It was fucking sexy, or at least that's what Princess Peach thought as she watched the two emos argue from around the corner.

"Stop arguing you two!" Palutena scolded them as she walked in.

"Yeah Pittoo, don't be so rude!" Pit said as he walked in with the goddess.

"UGH I HATE THIS FUCKING FAMILY!" screamed Dark Pit. He fixed his Slipknot shirt and walked away, only to see Peach at the corner.

"U-um, Konnichiwa K-Kuro-senpai" Peach whispered shyly.

"Fuck off you weeaboo!" the edgy angel shouted, wow rude.

"Shit" said Peach. Her plan to get her crush to notice her had failed miserably…." _This isn't like the animes at all!_ " she cried to herself. She went back to her room to come up with a new plan. _What if Pittoo-sama is just a tsundere?_ thought Peach. _I have to get closer to him somehow_ , she thought. She had brilliant idea, "I'll have to impress him! But how?" she pondered. Then it hit her, "I know, I'll take over the entire shopping district! "she cackled manically.

* * *

Palutena woke up to a bright and sunny day, but there was nothing to do! She had watched all of her infomercials and soap operas on her goddess TV last night anyways. _Hmm, I guess I could go see what new gadgets they have at the store_ she thought. "PIT!" She screamed "WE'RE GOING TO BED BATH AND BEYOND!"

They walked up to the store, but something was different, instead of snuggies there were body pillows! Instead of that distinct Bed Bath and Beyond smell it smelt like cherry blossoms! And most of all, there was POCKY instead of the weird knockoff candy!

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS! WHERE ARE THE SNUGGIES! WHERE ARE THE SHAMWOWS! WHERE ARE ALL THE FUSHIJI BALLS! WHERE THE FUCK IS ADAM SANDLER AND HIS BLUE CLICK REMOTE!" Lady Palutena screamed bloody murder.

Rosalina, Lucas and Meta Knight all rose from a pile of anime blankets. "We don't know what happened... Where are the fucking snuggies!" they cried. "Hey I found a Fushiji ball!" Pit pointed at Meta Knight.

"I'll help you guys... soon" Palutena said softly. "PEACH I KNOW YOU DID THIS YOU FUCKER" she screamed as she ran up to the main office of her favorite store. She was stopped suddenly by Ryu and Roy.

"What business do you have here, miss?" Ryu said with his bara tiddies bulging. It was fucking intimidating.

"U-um nothing have a nice day!" Palutena yelped even though she was a fucking goddess and could probably wipe Ryu off the face of the earth but Master Hand took most of her powers away for 'safety reasons'! The fucking nerve!

"It seems like I'll need an army to take down Peach…" She grabbed Pit by the shoulder and called her army. They all came to her rescue and were confused. "Why are we at an anime convention?" they all asked. "Listen... I need you useless fuckers to take down Peach" said the goddess."But….we like anime!" the army said all at once."Haha yeah, Naruto _is_ pretty good..." Pit confessed.

"YOU'RE ALL USELESS!" Palutena shouted. She grabbed Pit by the shoulder again "Pit…...I need you to…..bring me the memes."

"The memes?" Pit asked, clearly confused.

"You know….everyone else who shops here." she responded.

"OHHHHHHHHH, I gotcha!" Pit said. "Bring them all to the meeting room in the Smash Mansion, I'll meet you there." Palutena then granted Pit the power of flight and he flew away.

-two hours later-

Pit had gathered all of the 'memes' he could find into the Smash Meeting Room. Among the them were Shulk, Dedede, Villager,and the assist trophy Waluigi. _Okay everyone's here!_ Pit thought to himself proudly.

"Uh, why are we all here, mate?" Shulk asked in that sexy British accent, damn son.

"Wah!" Waluigi said in response, because that was the only thing he could say apparently. Palutena suddenly warped in. "There's a reason all of you are standing here today... its because…..my beloved Bed Bath and Beyond has turned into an anime convention!" she cried. All of the 'memes' gasped, except Waluigi, he wah'ed. "I need all of your help in order to save Bed Bath and Beyond from the weeaboos!" she continued.

"Okay, I'll join!" Shulk said,

"Me too!" Villager responded,

"I'll join…..IF…." Dedede started,

"If what?" Palutena asked.

"Let me into your snuggie club woman!" he answered.

Rosalina and Meta Knight gasped from the distance, they had escaped from the anime blanket hell it seemed. "Don't fucking do it Palutena, you know what happened last time!" they whispered to her harshly.

"Ugh….." Palutena groaned….she didn't want to let Dedede into the exclusive snuggie club, but she needed all the help she could get "You can join if you wear a REAL snuggie, not your robe backwards." she stated. "Good enough for me! I'm in!" Dedede responded.

"Well I guess that means everyone is in then!" Pit said happily. "Yes, together we can take back our store!" Palutena replied.

The new group rejoiced, but unknown to them, someone was watching. "Ugh, what are those _peasants_ doing?" a voice from the shadows said to himself. "Whatever, I have my own group to be concerned with." The shadow smirked to himself and then disappeared.

Today was the birth of the Meme Team, and nothing was EVER the same.

* * *

CHAPTER ONE END!

Holy shit, this is probably my first fic ever and its a crack fic. Wow. Also this is a collab between me and my friend! Obviously, everyone in the story is going to be OOC, and for clarification, Villager is the pink alt. color in this fic. Well that's all I gotta say for now, except chapter 2 is on its way and it goes into the weeaboos lives! see ya.


	2. Solve for X

Meanwhile in an abandoned convention center, the weeaboos were having their meeting.

"Okay minna-san, please quiet down!" Marth ordered the group. The weeaboos all sat in their respective chairs, there was Peach, the leader, and a true weeaboo, and sitting next to her was Vice President Marth. Among the underlings were Ryu, Roy, the infamous uwu blogger Jigglypuff, Toon Link, and Robin. But those two were more of Superwholocks then weeaboos.

"Hey Robin!" Toon Link greeted the white-hair anime boy. "OMG Link, did you see the new episode of Doctor Who?!" Robin asked frantically.

"Ugh no, I missed it!" Toon Link whined.

"You HAVE to wat-" Robin was then cut off by Peach.

"Let's do our cheer everyone! Then we'll start the meeting!" Peach ordered the then stood from their seats, "ichi, ni, san, NYA!" The weeaboos all cheered.

"Honestly Peach, what the fuck is this cheer, I'm gonna quit." Ryu complained.

"Um wow, Ryu-KOUHAI, first of all, know your place here! Second of all, I worked so hard on that cheer do you know how long that took me to look up on Google Translate, Ryu?! DO YOU?!" Peach sobbed.

"Now now Peach, please be daijoubu." Marth comforted the crying princess. "Anyways minna-san, as you all know, we have new territory at Bed Bath and Beyond." he stated. "This is the first part of a plan to take over the entire Smash Shopping District!" he continued.

"Um, will there still be Superwholock merch at Hot Topic?" Robin asked shyly.

"Ugh Akise, you know that Superwholock isn't an ANIME, right? Only anime merchandise with be allowed uwu" Jigglypuff replied to his question passive-aggressively. "Um yeah, my name is Robin and _EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?_ " Both Robin and Toon Link gasped

"Minna-san, daijoubu, I'll allow Superwholock to live, since it's so important to Robin and Toon Link-kouhai." Peach said calmly, now recovered from her previous breakdown. "However... I want you all to know that this isn't just for Shopping-District-Domination. Pittoo-sama, as you all know, makes my kokoro go doki doki. But he's... a tsundere." The group gasped.

"But….Peach, he's also…..you know…" Marth whispered to her quietly

"Goku?" Ryu butted in.

"No Ryu, He's EMO." Marth answered.

"YES MARTH WE ALL KNOW OKAY WE ALL FUCKING KNOW HE'S EMO, WE GET IT WE FUCKING GET IT, SHUT THE FUCK UP _KOUHAI!._ " Peach shrieked.

"Anyways, Now that we're all aware of who my future husbando will be, I'll let you all know that he's the reason I came up with this ground-breaking keikaku in the first place! I'm doing this to... impress him." she said. "That means, we NEED to keep emo merch in shops, wakarimashita ka?"

"Hai, wakarimashita!" everyone said in response.

"Sugoi Peach! You're amazing, desu!" Jigglypuff said in awe.

"Arigatou Jiggly-tan! I know, I'm so amazing desu nyaaaa!" Peach gloated!

Meanwhile, Ryu sat in his chair. He was fucking PISSED. _Why am I helping these baka gaijin with their shit-tier animes?"_ he thought grumpily. _These people need Goku._

"Alright minna-san, its time for our meeting to end!" Marth called. Everyone stood up and did that fucking cheer.

 _FUCK this cheer I'm not doing this._ thought Ryu. Peach glared at him as he continued to sit down with his arms crossed across his bara tiddies and not join in.

"Ummmm... RYU KOUHAI? Do you have something to SAY to us?" she snapped at him. "

Nope, I'm protesting until you guys make the cheer optional." he said as he smirked at the weeaboo princess.

"WELL IT'S NOT OPTIONAL SO I GUESS YOU'RE OUT OF HERE DESU!" Peach screamed.

"Fine, I'll make my own anime club, WITH GOKU, and we're NOT watching shitty animes like LOVE LIVE!" Ryu roared.

Peach gasped, "How DARE you!" she cried.

"You know, I'm gonna leave too!" Roy stood up. "You ASSHOLES haven't even talked to me since this meeting started!"

"R-roy-kun…." Marth said sadly….."You were... my boy... but... fine, if you want to leave, I won't stop you."

"Arigatou Marth-senpai, I…...I won't forget you...but this is for the best…" Roy's bottom lip quivered.

"Come on Roy, lets go." Ryu said as he picked up the now crying ginger.

The two headband animes left the old convention center, and that was the end of the meeting.

Toon Link and Robin however, decided not to go home just yet. "You wanna go to Hot Topic?" Toon asked Shinji- I mean Robin.

"Hell yeah I do! Let's GO!" Robin replied. They raced over to the emo store, and they looked through the window.

"Wow! Look at the new shirts! Think we can get a matching pair?" TL looked in awe.

"Wait…..I think I see Ganondorf in there...we better avoid him." Robin looked inside with concern. However, the younger superwholock wasn't even paying attention to what Robin was saying and ran right into Ganondorf, god damn it, he was looking at the new black nail polish with sparkles that also happened to glow in the dark which was pretty rad.

"Watch where you're going, _peasant_." The ancient emo snapped. Toon Link recognized that word on instant. "OMG….Do you have…..TUMBLR?!" he squealed.

Robin then joined in, "John + Sherlock equals X, Solve for X."

"X = ….OTP!" The two nerds squeed. Ganondorf just sighed.

"Ugh I can't believe Hot Topic even allows people like you into the store." another voice was heard. Robin turned around, it was _Lucina_. Robin narrowed his eyes. She was wearing a Twilight T-shirt today, and black skinny jeans with one of those checkerboard belts.

"Ugh Lucina, did you even _READ_ Twilight? The books are so much better than the movies...not that _you_ would know." Robin muttered.

"FUCK OFF ROBIN!" Lucina screamed. "YOU KNOW I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR READING!"

"Oh really, and why's that?" Robin asked.

"Well….you know….my dad…." Lucina whispered quietly.

"What?" Robin asked again,

" _IT'S NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS OKAY, WHY DON'T YOU GO DYE YOUR HAIR SO YOU DON'T DIE YOU FUCKING SUPERWHOLOCK!_ " Lucina blurted, it was very edgy.

"Whatever Robin, let's just get our shirts" Toon Link looked at Robin worriedly. He was PISSED, how DARE Lucina insult the holy trinity that was Superwholock!

"Fine!" the white-hair anime boy snarled. "You win this round Lucina, but I won't forget this!" he said as he left.

"Psh, whatever." Lucina huffed. She honestly couldn't care less. She went back to looking at her band merch.

"Looks like you could use some help," A voice came suddenly from nowhere. Lucina turned to the source of the voice, "I don't need help, and who the FUCK are you!" she asked.

"Who the fuck are you?" the voice responded,

"Don't give me that shit! It's not even edgy!" The blueberry princess was getting annoyed.

"Oh fine, fine~ Like I said," a figure emerged from the dark, "I'm someone who can help.".

* * *

HOLY SHIT CHAPTER TWO AND ITS ABOUT THE WEEABOOS! (And also slightly Hot Topic).

Also someone asked, and since I can't reply because it was a guest review, yes, I was inspired a bit by many of the group fanfictions on here, but also a lot of the story is going to be based off random scenarios I've made with friends so the story will probably be very different from most? I hope so at least. And yes, I am including non-canon characters but I won't say anything else because of spoilers. Thank you everyone for the nice compliments though! I appreciate it a lot ;)

-magicegg


	3. Memession Impossible

"Wah!"

"H-huh? EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKK!" It was around one in the morning, and Shulk had crashed onto the hardwood floor screeching like a British little girl. He waited for his eyes to adjust to the dark before he could see who the invader of his room was. It was….Waluigi obviously. "Wah." He said.

"Dude, what the FUCK." Shulk got off the floor and turned to face the tall man. "Wah!" Waluigi said AGAIN.

"Dude, I have no idea what you're saying, but anyways, what are you doing in my room!" Shulk stared at Waluigi confused. Suddenly the door opened and Villager poked her head in.

"Hey Shulk, there's a meeting and OH MY GOD PUT A SHIRT ON!" She screamed, her face was turning pink (like her hair). Shulk was standing there in his boxers like the sexy alien he was.

"Wah!" Waluigi shouted.

"Yeah, I think my abs are pretty nice too, thanks." Shulk said to Waluigi. He had picked up a Wah dictionary so he could understand what Waluigi was actually saying.

"Okay, I'm leaving now!" Villager ran off to the meeting room. Then she ran into Peach. "Ohayou Murabito-chan!" Peach greeted the girl.

"Okay, first of all FUCK you and second of all, Shulk is fucking hot" Villager said to the weeaboo.

Peach gasped. "You ALIEN FUCKER! I knew this would happen" she said.

"Anyways, I fucking hate you!" the pinkette screamed at the princess before running off to the meeting room.

Peach gasped, she had no idea what she did to Villager-chan! _Maybe Murabito-chan is a tsundere too_? Peach thought as she went back to her room aka weeaboo hell.

Shulk and Waluigi walked into the 'meeting room'. The meeting room was actually just the computer area, the _actual_ meeting room was closed, because you know, it was one in the fucking morning. Pit was sitting at a desk watching Go-Animate videos, when Dark Pit walked in. "Oh hey mate" Shulk greeted the emo as he walked past.

"Fuck you!" Dark Pit shouted edgily. He went over to where Pit was sitting. "What the hell are you watching you prep!"

"O-oh uh, I'm not watching anything! Also I'm not a prep! " Pit lied as he quickly switched tabs.

"LIKE HELL YOU ARE, GIVE ME THE FUCKING COMPUTER!" Pittoo snatched away the laptop, on the screen was the video Dark Pit gets in Dead Meat. "WHO THE FUCK LEAKED THIS!" He screamed before running out of the room crying. Almost on cue, Villager, Dedede and Palutena walked into the room.

"What is UP guys! Also why did Pittoo run away crying just now?" Palutena asked.

Everyone shrugged, except for Pit who looked away shyly.

"Well why did you call us here in the first place, and why at one in the morning? I need my beauty sleep!" Shulk cried (in British).

"Oh shit, well….okay everyone come over here I don't want anyone else hearing this." the goddess gestured for everyone to come near. They all huddled together like that one scene in High School Musical, "Okay so, we need to infiltrate the weeaboo base, but we have to have spies obviously." Palutena explained.

"I could do it!" Pit exclaimed, "I love Naruto!"

"No we need someone who isn't associated with me Pit, choosing you would be too obvious." Palutena said.

Villager looked down, "...Okay, I'll go in" she said. "I already look like a weeaboo, plus Peach thinks I'm her friend so it won't be hard getting in." Villager added.

"I'll go in too!" said Dedede as he took off his robe, which made Falco who was sitting across the room _very_ excited, that bird fucker! "See, I'm pretty much wearing a kimono, they'll go HAM over that shit!"

"Okay! Well I guess two is all we need then…?" Pit concluded.

"Yeah I'm pretty tired, can I go to bed now?" Shulk asked.

"Well I guess you can go, but tomorrow we need to discuss the game plan!" Palutena answered.

Everyone then went to bed, and slept, they would need it for the day to come.

* * *

The Meme Team pulled up to Bed Bath and Beyond in their new van, Palutena faced the group "Okay team, we all know what the plan is, Villager and Dedede will go in pretending to be weeaboos and earn their trust, then one of you will place a recording device in the room, then you two need to get out quickly!" she explained.

"Alright, I'll take the recorder since I can pocket things also I'm pretty sure he'd lose it." Villager said, throwing shade at Dedede.

"What the fuck did you just say about me you-" Dedede was then shoved out of the van along with Villager.

"Just go inside already you two!" the goddess yelled at them. After some serious grumbling, the two made it up to the front of the store, as the automatic doors opened they were hit with a strong cherry blossom scent.

"Ugh, not even a minute in here and I already have a headache…its just like Mission Impossible." Villager mumbled.

"Heh, more like MEMEssion impossible" Dedede snickered, Villager glared at his shitty pun.

"Who do you think you are, _Pit_?" She scoffed.

ANYWAYS, The walls of the store were now painted a bright pink, and had several anime posters hanging along them, cherry blossom petals floated through the air like confetti. Castle in the Sky by DJ Satomi was playing throughout the store as well. As the duo walked to the back of the store, one area stood out completely against the anime hell. It was completely black and there seemed to be rock music playing instead of shit-tier trance music, like a mini Hot Topic.

"Hey let's go check that area out first!" Villager called at Dedede, who was looking at the pocky.

"Dude, don't tell me you were gonna buy some." Villager stared at the king.

"I'M HUNGRY OKAY! Plus pocky is kinda good, don't judge!" He snapped back at her.

"Whatever, let's just look here first." The pink haired girl walked over to the emo area of the store, she looked inside and saw two people standing around, seemingly having a discussion. One was a teenager, who looked quite slim and had their face covered, and the other seemed to be a young hipster girl with long blonde hair, one was wearing a Quiksilver shirt and the other was wearing a Roxy shirt.. The taller of the two quickly turned around to face Villager, the teenager's red eyes seemed to pierce into her, but they quickly softened after not seeing any threats.

"Hey, what is it!" The younger girl called.

"It's just a weeaboo." The teenager responded.

Villager sighed in relief, the two unknown turned around and when back to browsing the dark area, which Villager would later take note of. And then she noticed that Dedede was gone. "Oh where the hell did he go too!" Villager cursed to herself. She went up to the registers and saw him buying pocky. "Are you fucking serious Dedede?!"

"I SAID I WAS HUNGRY!" He defended himself.

As the two argued AGAIN, Peach happened to walk up.

"Murabito-chan? Is that you desu ka?" she asked happily.

Villager and Dedede turned around to face the weeaboo, she had her hair in pigtails, and was wearing a Hatsune Miku shirt. She also was wearing a pair of jeans with a skirt over it.

"Um….hai! It is watashi and my friend!" Villager said, slightly cringing at what she saw standing in front of her.

Peach's eyes narrowed a bit, "Your…... _friend_?" she asked.

Villager noticed her mistake "Oh g-gomenasai, kore wa watashi no tomodachi desu!" she said quickly smiling.

Peach then giggled, "Oh Murabito-chan, you're so kawaii when you speak in romaji!" she then looked over at Dedede and gasped, "Is that a honto no kimono?!" She squealed, "I totes have to introduce you two to my group desu!".

The weeaboo princess then grabbed the two memes by the arm and walked to the back of the store, where the office was. She then opened the door, it was an even bigger anime hell than before! There was a giant TV in the back of the office, and there were several people sitting around in bean bags watching a shoujo anime, also there were many shelves with anime figurines lined across.

A pink balloon turned around from her seat "Konnichiwa Peach-sama!" the creature greeted the princess.

"Konnichiwa minna-san! I brought in some tomodachi desu!" Peach said happily. Villager cringed at Peach's fetishization, "Minna-san, kore wa Murabito-chan, and Dedede-daio desu!"

Then a young boy turned around, "Villager? You're here too?" It was Toon Link!

"Link!" Villager ran over and hugged her friend.

Peach however, was PISSED. "Toon Link-kouhai, her name is Murabito-chan! Not Villager! Dame desu nee!" She scolded the superwholock.

"O-oh sorry, Peach-sama…" Toon Link scratched the back of his head nervously, I guess those animes were getting to him.

"Hey you wanna watch Sherlock with me? Toon asked.

Villager looked away, "Uh, I'd...love to but I'm kinda busy at the moment." She loved her friend dearly, but even she knew he was superwholock trash.

"Aw, well maybe next time?" Toon Link asked, his cat eyes were sparkling, "I totally have to introduce you to Robin the next time you come over! he then added.

Villager looked into his desu eyes, "Toon Link…...no.".

"WHAT!" He screamed, Anime Vice President Marth then looked over to them "Toon Link-san! Shizuka ni! I'm trying to watch Fruits Basket!" he whispered to him harshly.

"Oh, sorry Marth…" Toon Link looked down.

Dedede looked the anime clock on the wall, he was sure the Meme Team would be worried by now. "Hey uh...Murabito-chan, remember we have an ANIME CONVENTION we have to go to soon?"

Villager looked up "Oh crap!" she cursed. She still had the recording device too, and then she noticed the empty box of pocky her partner was holding. "Dude, give me the box" She whispered to him.

"What why!" Dedede protested.

"Just trust me!" Villager snatched it out of his hand and quickly put the recorder inside. The penguin then realized what she was doing and nodded.

"Gomenasai Peach-tan! But we REALLY can't miss our anime convention…...desu." Dedede said to Peach.

Villager quickly hid the box of pocky with the recorder behind an anime figurine. "Um...Jya nee Peach-chan!" she said, she then looked over at Toon Link, who waved to her sadly.

"Ah, Jya nee you two! Have a good time at the anime convention!" Peach said goodbye to her 'friends'. The two memes then hightailed it the fuck outta there! Villager gasped for fresh air the second she got out of the cherry blossom HELL. The Meme van quickly pulled up to the store and the two quickly jumped inside.

"Did you guys get the recording device in there?" Shulk asked.

"Yeah, we put it in a box of pocky! They'll never suspect a thing." Dedede answered.

"You clever bastard!" Shulk looked inspired, his eyes were sparkling, but maybe that was because he had been close to the weeaboo hellhole for so long.

"Well it was my idea." Villager mumbled.

"Yeah but I had the Pocky!" Dedede proclaimed.

"WAH!" Waluigi screamed at them, they all jumped in shock, Shulk then looked at his friend. "What's wrong mate?" He asked. Then he noticed that Uptown Funk was playing on the radio.

"Oh, he wants you guys to quiet down!" Shulk said to them.

"Wahahaha!" Waluigi nodded and laughed, he then started dancing to the song.

Villager then noticed that Palutena and Pit were gone. "Hey where are those two?" she asked.

"They went to go see if any other stores have been weebified." Shulk answered. It was silent for a couple moments, "So…. what were the weeaboos like?" He then asked.

"Well, most of them seemed pretty nice except for Peach!" Villager grumbled. "She even yelled at one of my friends who's in the group!" she added.

Suddenly the door to the van opened, Palutena and Pit both stepped inside. However, the angel looked kind of distressed.

"Hey what's wrong?" Shulk looked at him concerned. Pit shoved a flyer into the sexy aliens chest. _The Smash Shopping District is getting a new look!_ it read, it had several anime characters along the flyer. "What the bloody hell?!" Shulk said as he read the flyer.

"I can't believe the weeaboos are taking over the entire area!" Pit finally cried out.

"What the HELL is this!" Villager grabbed the flyer.

Dedede looked at the paper and shrugged, "I can't even read" He then sighed sadly.

"Uh yeah, we could tell." Villager replied.

Dedede glared at her "Fuck you!" he cried.

"Wah!" Waluigi snatched the flyer away, he then started to sniffle and cry.

Palutena started the car, "Oh come on you guys, I'm sure it won't be that bad! I mean they're _weeaboos_ , we can take them out easily."

Pit looked away, "Yeah, easy for you to say, you're a goddess!" he huffed.

Palutena looked at her son "Pit you literally killed the god of death, don't give me this shit" she then turned to face the group, "Besides, we're going to McDonald's, don't be such negative nancies."

"Hell yeah!" The entire team cheered, their mood doing a 180.

* * *

-one hour later motherfucker-

The memes got their food and went to sit at a table, Pit, Shulk, and Villager all sat next to each other, then Pit shifted awkwardly in his seat, he hadn't really talked to the other two since the team was made. "So, did you see anything weird while you were in Bed Bath and Beyond?" He smiled awkwardly, trying to start a conversation.

Villager opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted, "Haha yeah, it was YOU Pit! Loser preps!" they all heard from a distance. Fuck.

It was... _DARK PIT AND HIS BAND OF EMOS_! "Why the fuck didn't you invite me to McDonalds mom!" He yelled at Palutena.

"Um...because you have your own rude friends?" the goddess said.

"Yeah bro, you're kind of an ass." Pit commented.

"You weren't even PART of this conversation Pit-stain, don't give me that shit!" Dark Pit screamed.

" Uh, You did call him a loser prep first, mate" Shulk quickly defended his friend.

"WHO ASKED YOU, FUCKING POSER I BET THAT ACCENT IS FAKE!" Dark Pit yelled and ran off to sit with his emo friends. Shulk huffed, how _dare_ Pittoo say that about his 100% authentic accent! The memes all looked over to where Dark Pit was, but something was different. With the emos, there was...PEACH!

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" The entire Meme Team yelled.

"Konnichiwa Meme-Team desu!" She waved.

The blue haired emo girl sitting next to Peach cringed.

 _Oh I feel you girl_! Villager thought as she looked at the emo.

Peach then got up and walked over to where Palutena was sitting, the princess smiled sweetly, "Konnichiwa Palutena-sama!" she said.

Palutena looked up at Peach "Hello…... _Peach_." She said looking disgusted.

"Palutena, I want to introduce you to my tomodachi, she's a kami too!" Peach giggled. Suddenly a pink haired anime girl walked into McDonald's, it was…..… _MADOKA KANAME_!

Palutena gasped "M-Madoka?!"

The weeaboo goddess smiled, "Hello, _sister_.".

" _EHHHHHHHHHHHHHH_?" The entire store went, then it was silent.

Both of the angels looked confused. "Um mom, you never mentioned there was a WEEABOO in our family!" Pittoo finally said.

Peach glared at her husbando-to-be, "Pittoo-senpai! You shouldn't talk about Madoka-sama like that!"

Palutena looked at her emo child, "Honestly Pittoo, where the fuck do you think you get your archery skills from!" she was fucking done.

"NOT A WEEABOO GODDESS!" He screamed.

"Um…..I'm right here, and to be fair, we're both weeaboo goddesses" Madoka shyly added.

Palutena rolled her eyes and then turned to her sister, "So, what are you doing out of space?" she asked, while slightly glaring.

The pink haired goddess looked over to Peach, "Wellllll, Madoka-sama is helping me take over the entire Smash Shopping District!" Peach giggled.

Palutena snapped, " _PEACH YOU FUCKER I KNOW YOU TOOK MY BELOVED BED BATH AND BEYOND AWAY FROM ME, GIVE IT BACK_!" the goddess rose suddenly from her seat. People were starting to stare, both the Meme Team and the Emos looked over at the commotion.

Bowser and Miyamoto looked at each other, and then at their son Bowser Jr., "Come on honey, let's get out of here!" the turtle dad then picked up his wife and son and quickly left the restaurant.

Peach rolled her eyes, "Palutena, I didn't take your Bed Bath and Beyond! I just….gave it a renovation!" she smiled sweetly. "Also I even got Master Hand's approval to do so with Madoka's help, isn't that just kawaii desu nee?"

"That's fucking BULLSHIT!" Palutena screamed, "There's no way Master Hand would let you do that, he hates anime!"

Peach shook her head, "Oh but I'm not lying Palutena-sama! We've already started taking over- oh, I mean renovating other stores desu!"

Peach then looked over at the clock on the wall. "Oh! Is it that time already? I guess my tomodachi and I have to go, we have a very important meeting to attend, sayonara minna-san!" Peach then made her way to the door.

Madoka looked over at the goddess mom, "Well I guess I'll see you around, sister." she smiled as she walked out the door.

"Fuck you!" The other goddess screamed at the two of them, but they had already left.

She sunk down into her chair and laid her head down,

"Hey, are you alright?" Villager asked the frustrated goddess.

"I fucking hate Peach." Palutena groaned.

"Same, same..." the small girl patted the woman on the head.

"Uh…..mom…" Dark Pit walked up to Palutena.

She looked up at him glaring, "Can't you see that mommy is having a mental breakdown?!"

He looked down shyly, "Well um...the thing is, me and my friends need a ride home…" the emo angel said.

Palutena raised an eyebrow. "How the fuck did you even get here then?"

"I flew, obviously!"

"Really?"

"Okay….. I stole Ganondorf's car…. and I may have accidentally crashed it." the angel confessed.

The goddess gasped, "YOU WHAT?!"

"ITS CALLED BEING HARDCORE MOM!" Pittoo screamed.

"Someone's totally getting GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED!" Pit laughed,

Dark Pit glared at him, "One more comment like that and your Go-Animate account gets it!"

Pit gasped, "You wouldn't DARE!"

Meanwhile with the rest of the memes, they decided to chat with the emos.

"Soooo... why was Peach here with you guys?" Shulk decided to ask.

"That's not really any of your business, is it?" the pokémon Mewtwo responded, with his arms crossed across his bara tiddies.

"Wah." Waluigi replied.

Lucina shrugged, "Honestly we don't know what the hell her deal is, but we know for a fact that she's a dumbass prep!"

"Mhmm, I agree wholeheartedly!" Villager nodded while she ate her fries.

"Hmph, well at least you're right about something." Mewtwo scoffed as he ate a chicken nugget via levitation powers, which caused Dedede to glare at him.

"You…...you MURDERER!" He screamed at the pokémon.

Mewtwo raised a non-existent eyebrow, "Says the one who stole food from everyone in one game, and had an entire anime series where you tried to kill a pink ball for no reason?"

"THAT WAS ONE TIME! Besides didn't you kill a bunch of scientists?!" Dedede countered.

Mewtwo looked insulted, "I had good reason too!" he cried.

Dark Pit then walked over before the two could argue more, "Guys my mom is giving us a ride and why the fuck are you preps sitting here!" he screamed at the Memes.

Waluigi looked right into his eyes, "...Wah" he whispered.

"Dude, what the FUCK." Dark Pit looked disgusted.

"If your mom is giving you a ride with us, why do you care if we sit with your friends?" Villager asked, slay girl slay.

Dark Pit looked to his emo friends for backup, Lucina shrugged and Mewtwo simply looked the other way. "Well…..because you're all preps!" He stammered. Everyone looked at Dark Pit with a disappointed face. "Ugh whatever, let's just go already!" He said while glaring at the Memes.

"Wait! Shadow Link is still in the bathroom, we can't just leave him!" Lucina reminded Dark Pit.

"Oh shit!" Dark Pit yelled.

"Relax guys, I'm right here." A voice was heard, a boy with red eyes and purple hair walked over to the table. He then looked at the Memes, and then at Dark Pit. "Uh, why are there preps here, Pittoo?" He asked.

Dark Pit shrugged, "The fuck should I know?" everyone glared at him because he was so fucking emo.

He looked away edgily "Anyways, we should go now losers.".

But as he turned around, he gasped at what he saw.

"Oh hi honey!" Palutena greeted her husband.

It was Ganondorf! He was wearing a hawaiian shirt and flip flops, quite different from the usual emo band shirts and black nail polish he always wore. He kissed his wife, and then looked straight at Dark Pit.

"Oh SHIT!" Pittoo whispered. Then he looked at his step-dad, "What the hell are you doing here, Ganon _dork_!" He screamed, the emos all laughed at his shitty pun from 2008.

Ganon sighed, "Son, I'm not a mad king of evil, just a disappointed king of evil. But what matters….. is that you're safe" he scolded his step-son after learning the fate of his car.

"Fuck off, you aren't even my real dad!" Pittoo said before storming off.

Ganondorf sighed, "Where did I go wrong?"

Palutena sighed, "I'm sorry honey, I'll buy you a new car.

The couple then hugged, but were sadly interrupted yet again,

" _ **HANDS OFF MY CHICK!**_ "

IT WAS IKE! Ike _CENA_ , to be more specific, the son of John Cena and one of Palutena's many ex boyfriends. His muscles were fucking sexy, he was wearing an obey snapback, $200 jordans, knockoff ray-bans, and adidas basketball shorts.

"Hey babe, you came to McDonald's without me?" He asked Palutena.

"Ike you piece of shit I'm not your girlfriend anymore! That was like 7 years ago you fucker!" Palutena screamed.

"Haha, and then what? ;)" Ike asked, while flexing.

Ganondorf was _PISSED_. "THAT'S MY _WIIIIIIIFFFFFEEEEE_! HOW DARE YOU TALK TO MY WIFE THAT WAY!" He screamed, before warlock punching Ike Cena in the face. But he didn't know this was... _THE REAL_ Ike Cena. suddenly Ganondorf and Palutena heard trumpets playing the Ike Cena theme on repeat. "Oh no," Ganon whispered. "I'm dead. I'm fucking dead" he continued to say. Ike was furious, he punched the king of evil nearly a million times in half a second. It was fucking remarkable.

"Oh no, Ganny-poo!" Palutena cried, cradling her nearly dead husband's body.

"B-before I die... Palu-Palu... tell Dark Pit... he's a fucking asshole...and he'll never be a _TRUE_ emo..." he said in his last breath. He began to gasp for air, and eventually he was coughing up blood. "I WILL, GANNY-POO, I WILL! I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU DADDY!" The goddess sobbed. Eventually he stopped breathing, Ganondorf was fucking dead.

Dark pit looked at his dead step-dad.. "He's... he's dead... he killed him...…..thank you Ike Cena…." the dark angel rejoiced.

Ryu was watching from a seat by the window. He was in tears, "It's just like when Vegeta got mad at Beerus for hitting Bulma" he cried. He started clapping as if it were a play or something, but everyone ignored him.

Ike Cena smirked, and left the room with a single sentence after telling the guy at the counter to turn the Ike Cena theme off of the McDonald's speakers.

"This isn't what I wanted this to come to."

* * *

Sorry if the chapter is kind of long guys, I'll try to keep it consistent but eh, shit happens ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

I can't believe Ganondorf is fucking dead. Also yeah I totally put in two (technically three i guess?) non-canon characters into this fic and there's even more to come! Anyways, like always thanks for all the nice compliments and see ya next time ;)


	4. The Party of the Year

Just a warning, but this chapter has some slight sexual content near the end, so don't say I didn't warn you! Enjoy ;)

* * *

It was a dark ass day in Smash City, the clouds were dark, the mood was dark, everything was fucking dark! Well, at least for Palutena that is.

"Oh how could I ever live without my Ganny-poo!" She sobbed. She had been crying all day long, her husband had just been MURDERED, but that fucker Ike Cena had gotten away scott free! She lay on her bed and continued to cry into her pillow.

"Palu? Is that you crying in there?" The goddess heard a familiar voice.

She looked up from her pillow, "Rosie, is that you?" She croaked. Standing above her was Rosalina, she looked very concerned.

"Palu…..what's going on?" The space princess sat on the bed and stroked the goddess's head. Palutena sobbed even more into her pillow,

"It's….it's G-Ganny…" she cried, "H-he's dead! Ike Cena killed him!" she wailed.

Rosalina gasped, "My lumas were right about that fucker! But….aren't you having a funeral?" She then asked.

Palutena sighed. "Rosalina are you fucking kidding me...No we're obviously NOT having a funeral for my husband that I love, no we're just gonna leave him lying on the shitstained McDonalds tile, YES WE'RE HOLDING A FUNERAL FOR HIM!" She screamed.

"Oh my goodness don't yell at me Palutena, I don't have time for this shit!" Rosalina cried.

"My husband just fucking died OKAY! GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK ROSALINA!" Palutena went back to sobbing into her pillow.

"Oh dear, I'm so sorry Palu...Though, what time is it at I wonder?" Rosalina then shyly asked.

"...In a few hours…"A muffled answer came from the pillow.

"Well I guess we better get ready then..." Rosalina sighed sadly.

* * *

The funeral was about to begin, almost everyone who had been invited had arrived to Ganondorf's funeral, but Dark Pit was nowhere to be found!

"Oh crap, oh crap! Where is he? Mom's gonna be PISSED!" Pit cried to himself, running around trying to find his emo twin brother. But no matter how hard he looked, Pit just couldn't find him.

"Hey Pit!" Two familiar voices called, the angel turned around, it was…...Shulk and Villager!

"Oh hey guys, uh have you seen Dark Pit anywhere?" Pit asked. The two just shrugged, and Pit groaned.

"Doesn't your brother hate your step-dad though? So maybe he just didn't show up…?" Shulk guessed. "Ugh this is NOT good!" Pit cried, "My mom is gonna be so mad!".

"PIT!" Someone screamed from the other room. "Oh shit!" All three of them said at once, Palutena stormed into the room, speak of the devil,"Where the hell is Pittoo!" She screamed.

"...maybe he's at Hot Topic?" Villager guessed,

"Uh okay Villager, could you like not be a sarcastic little shit today? Cause that'd be great!" Palutena snapped. It was so intense. Pit looked around frantically, he could feel his mother's glare on him, where the fuck was Dark Pit! Pit silently cursed to himself, which was surprising,

"Um...mom, I don't think he even showed up…" he quietly confessed.

"That fucker! He's totally getting GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED!" The goddess mom yelled.

"Perhaps I could help find him…" A voice came from nowhere. The four looked around, and all they saw was a cardboard box. "...Wait is that...who I think it is?" Palutena asked, slowly the box was lifted up, it was…..SOLID SNAKE! Obviously.

"Snake? What are you doing here?" Palutena gasped. Shulk and Villager looked at the three,

"Uh what's going on?" Shulk then asked.

"Yeah mom who is this guy?" Pit whispered to the goddess.

"Pit, I want you to meet…...….your father….your _real_ father." Palutena finally answered. Everyone in the room gasped, there was just so much drama today, it was just like a soap opera.

"Wait wait, YOU'RE my dad?" Pit gasped.

"Yes Pit, and once he was MY daddy ;)" said Palutena.

Snake coughed, "Uh yeah, I'm your dad Pit…..don't listen to your mom.".

"Gross…." Both Shulk and Villager shuddered and nearly threw up.

"Stop kinkshaming me, my husband just died!" Palutena began to sob AGAIN.

"HA screw that dude, hey Pit, since we know each other now, wanna go find your little shit of a brother?" Snake asked.

"HECK yeah I do! I love my new dad! " said Pit.

"HE'S NOT YOUR NEW DAD! HEY DONT-" Palutena said before noticing the two of them had already left. "Shit!" She cursed, then she turned around to Shulk and Villager, "Well at least you two are still here…" she smiled.

"Yeeeeeaaaaahhhhh…." Shulk and Villager awkwardly laughed, they both died a little on the inside that day.

* * *

"HEY PASS ME ANOTHER CAPRI SUN!" Dark Pit shouted, he decided that he was going to have a party celebrating his step-dad's death instead of going to the funeral because he was an ASSHOLE, also he was drunk. Over Capri Suns.

"Hey uh don't you think you've had enough dude?" Shadow Link quickly grabbed his emo friend before he fell over, because that's how drunk he was.

"I'll tell you when I've had enough babe!" Pittoo shouted again, "Uh okay buddy, you've definitely had enough…" Shadow Link quickly took the packet of capri sun away.

"HEY YOU WANNA FIGHT BUB!" Dark Pit poked at Shadow Link, but suddenly his favorite song came on, it was I'm Okay (I Promise) by MCR. "HELL YEAH!" Dark Pit cheered, he walked on over to the dance floor and started to headbang.

"Jesus fucking christ..." Shadow Link cringed at his friend's behavior, he quickly walked away, even though the emo's were probably the only people at the nightclub. (so far ;) )

The shadow walked out to the upstairs balcony and sighed, sometimes Dark Pit could be too much for him... He looked out at the night sky, and pondered. He was thinking about deep thoughts while he gazed at the stars above, but those thoughts were interrupted as he heard a door open and close behind him, Shadow Link looked to see who it was, it was….Mewtwo! He looked annoyed, "Oh hey Mewtwo, what's wrong?" The shadow asked the pokémon as it floated over.

Mewtwo was holding a tablet, "Well, you know how I was supposed to send out invites to emo people only?" he asked.

"Uh, yeah? What happened?" Shadow Link worried,

"That drunk fucker Pittoo got to my tablet while I wasn't looking and sent it out to everyone!" Mewtwo shouted in anger.

"SHIT!" Shadow Link screamed, now there were going to be preps at his emo exclusive party! "Ugh, screw this then, I'm leaving!" Shadow Link said as he suddenly vanished into the shadows, Mewtwo sighed and went back inside.

* * *

"Alright kid, where do you think that emo fucker would be." Snake asked his son, they were at the mall. Pit snorted, "Hot Topic obviously! Where else would he be?" he said while he ate a Wetzel's Pretzel. "Don't you think we should've checked the shopping district first though?" He then asked.

"Eh, I've seen what that hellhole has turned into, a giant anime convention. I doubt he would've even gone there, but let's check Hot Topic." Snake then answered.

The duo walked over to the emo store, but when they went inside, almost no one was there! "What the hell is going on!" Snake shouted.

"Maybe he's at Tilly's?" Pit suggested, Snake looked at his son disappointingly,

"Pit please, Tilly's is for fake emos and preps….trust me I know." Snake then he felt his phone vibrate from his glorious ass pocket, he unlocked his phone, then he raised an eyebrow, "Who the fuck is this XxFallen-AngelxX person!" he screamed.

Pit looked at his dad's phone, on the screen it read:

" _HEY KOOL KID LOOKS LIKE YOU'VE BEEN INVITED TO DA HOTTEST PARTY OF THE YEAR! TODAY WE CELEBRATE THE FALL OF THE EMO POSER GANONDORK! COME TO THE SMEXI SMASH BROS NIGHTCLUB IF U WANNA GET IN ON DA ACTION, also NO PREPZ ALLOWED!_ "

"Huh, never would've guessed Pittoo was one of _those_ emos." Pit finally said.

"Well we know where he is now, let's go." Snake grabbed Pit and quickly left the mall.

"Hey, I wanted to go into Build-a-Bear!" Pit cried, but he was ignored, Snake just shook his head as he dragged his son out of the mall.

* * *

-back at the funeral-

It was Link's turn to talk, he walked up to the stand and looked at everyone. They were all asleep, god damn it. He tapped on the microphone in hopes of waking some people up, he then sighed and began his speech. "Well, this is truly a tragedy." Link started, "I may not have always agreed with Ganondorf, and we always seemed to butt heads in some ways or another, but he was truly a caring husband and father…. even if he also was a evil king, but whatever." He quietly added the last part. Then Link heard his phone jingle, he looked at his text and gasped, "Oh gods, who would write something like this!" He started to cry, and ran out of the room.

"Link! Come back!" Palutena called to the Hylian Hero.

 _Just what did he read_? She thought, then she noticed his phone was still on the stand. The goddess looked at the text…..and then gasped at what she read. Suddenly the sounds of phones ringing and vibrating filled the room, and Palutena was PISSED. " _MEME TEAM!_ " She called, " _ASSEMBLE!_ "

Suddenly Shulk, Villager, Dedede and Waluigi appeared by her side.

"You called?" Shulk asked.

The goddess turned to them, "I need you guys….to crash Pittoo's party."

* * *

The nightclub was filling up, and Dark Pit was finally sober from all the capri suns he had drank before. He looked around confused, what were all these preps and posers doing at his emo people only party!

"SHADOW LINK!" He screamed into the crowd, but no one came out. "Where the hell is that fucker!" Pittoo cursed, oh well, at least they were still playing emo music for now….nope, they started playing _POP MUSIC_. "NOOOOOOOOOO!" Pittoo shouted, but his cries were drowned out by the music. _Ugh I need another drink_ , he thought. He walked past all of the dancers over to the 'bar' which was actually just a table with a shit ton of capri suns lined up on it with some seats around it. Dark Pit quickly grabbed ten packs and drank them all at once somehow, he could already feel himself getting tipsy.

"AW YEAH THAT'S THE STUFF!" He shouted. Then he heard something start to cry, the emo looked down, it was….Kirby! The puffball wanted a capri sun, Pittoo scoffed at him.

"Sorry nerd, early emo gets the capri sun! Smell ya later!" He laughed and walked away to go dance and headbang some more.

"Hey little guy don't feel down." Kirby heard a voice behind him, it was Link! He had showed up to the party after all? Link picked up the crying puffball and walked over to the bar,

"Is there any milk?" The Hylian asked, the person running the bar laughed, "WHAT KIND OF BAR HAS MILK, DUMBASS?!" It was…...Link from the late 80's Zelda cartoon! Link gasped, "... _YOU_." He glared at his shitty other self.

"Yes Link, It is I, and it is also you as well, one day you will have to accept this." 80's cartoon Link laughed.

"NEVER!" Link shouted, he then ran away holding Kirby who had managed to find another capri sun.

Meanwhile back with Dark Pit who was busy headbanging on the dancefloor, he had bumped into someone with a glorious ass.

"Pittoo! There you are!" A familiar voice called. Shit. It was that fucking prep Pit! The man with the glorious ass turned around, "Oh shit hey you're my other kid." It was Snake!

"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU BUB!" Pittoo screamed.

"Uh I'm your dad obviously…..are you drunk?" Snake then asked.

Dark Pit burped, "Yeah, so what?" he smirked.

"Dang Pittoo, you're totally getting _grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded_!" Pit laughed.

Snake was confused, "I don't get it….ANYWAYS, Why the hell aren't you at your mom's funeral!" He yelled at his emo son.

"Uh because I got better shit to do, go away! I got an emo team to build!"

Snake gasped, "Did you say... Emo team? I could help you with that..."

Pit gasped as well, "Snake! Don't tell me..."

"We have to go find Jack-...I mean Raiden." said Snake.

"HELL YEAH LET'S DO IT!" Dark Pit exclaimed, he and his new dad went on a drunken adventure to find Raiden.

"Wait, can't you just... codec.. him?" Pit's voice began to quiet down after he noticed they were ignoring him.

"Crap." Pit whispered.

"WAH!" He suddenly heard behind him, _Waluigi?_ Pit thought, he turned around and saw the entire meme team behind him! Well except for his mom.

"Guys, what are you doing here?" He gasped.

"We were sent to crash your brother's party!" Villager smiled.

"NICE!" Pit exclaimed.

Shulk then looked around, he then gasped as he looked at the stage, "Is that….a karaoke machine?!" he squealed. He quickly ran off to get onto the stage.

"Hey wait!" Pit called to his sexy alien friend, but it was no use, he was already lost in the crowd.

"Eh, we'll find him eventually." Dedede shrugged.

The party started getting more intense though, all of the emos had moved into the center to form a giant mosh pit on the dance floor, and even more people were getting drunk off of the capri suns.

Then someone had bumped into Dedede from behind,

" _EY WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING FATASS-_ Wow hey…." A brooklyn accent suddenly barked, it was Falco! "Hey cutie you wanna drink?" The bird asked the other bird.

"Um…..sure." Dedede replied, and the two featheries went over to the 'bar'.

Pit, Villager, and Waluigi all stared blankly at what had just happened.

"What the fuck was that!" Villager finally said.

"Wah." Waluigi shrugged.

"Well now we're down two members!" Pit sighed.

Then a loud tapping noise came from the stage, the three memes looked over, Shulk was on the stage tapping into a microphone.

"Uh, hey, could you guys turn the music off? I'd like to sing a song…." He asked.

Someone groaned and eventually the loud music got quieter.

"H-hey guys, I'm Shulk and I'm gonna sing my favorite song for you guys today…" He shyly spoke into the microphone.

"JUST GET ON WITH IT ALREADY!" Someone else shouted.

"Hey shut up! Anyways, I hope you're all ready…." The lights dimmed down, and a spotlight was on Shulk.

" _Young man, there's no need to feel down…_

 _I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground._ " People started booing, but Shulk didn't care,

" _I said, young man, 'cause you're in a new town,_

 _There's no need to be unhappy._ "

People were leaving, and even more people started booing, Shulk's voice grew a little quieter,

"Cmon Shulk, you can do it!" Pit called to his friend. Shulk then smiled and continued his song.

" _Young man, there's a place you can go._

 _I said, young man, when you're short on your dough._

 _You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find_

 _Many ways to have a good time._

 _Its fun to stay at the..."_ Shulk then smirked, _AND THEN HE RIPPED OFF ALL HIS FUCKING CLOTHES EXCEPT HIS BOXERS AND HIS VOICE WAS LOUDER THAN EVER!_

" _ **Y.M.C.A! IT'S FUN TO STAY AT THE Y.M.C.A**_ **!** _ **THEY HAVE EVERYTHING, FOR YOU MEN TO ENJOY, YOU CAN HANG OUT WITH ALL THE BOYS!**_ " He started dancing sexily while he sang, people started cheering and wooting at the sight, this wasn't just Shulk anymore, this was…. _Sexy Shulk_.

" _You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal,_

 _You can do whatever you feel…_ " Sexy Shulk was simply amazing.

"I LOVE THIS SONG!" The male wii fit trainer exclaimed.

Chrom suddenly barged in behind him, by breaking through the door. "LUCY! WHERE ARE YOU LUCY" he shouted. "YOUR FATHER IS SO DISAPPOINTED IN Y-" he stopped for a moment and stared at the glorious ass that was up on stage.

"This is... incredibly sexy." said Chrom. He went over to the stage to get a better look, but not before grabbing a capri sun to get drunk with.

* * *

-meanwhile with snake and dark-

"Hey DAD YOU WANNA CAPRI SUN!" Pittoo asked his dad.

"Eh, sure why the fuck not." Snake took the capri sun and chugged it, "This is actually pretty good son, but where the hell is Raiden!" He shouted.

The duo walked over to the balcony where they saw Lucina, she looked like she was talking to someone.

"Hey LUCINA!" Dark Pit burped, "Your dad's here DID YOU KNOW THAT!" He shouted.

"Uh, what's wrong with him?" Lucina asked Snake,

"He's drunk, obviously, have you seen Raiden anywhere?" Snake asked the princess.

"Um, I think he's probably passed out in the bathrooms somewhere…" she shrugged.

"Thanks, let's go son." The soldier dragged his drunk kid over to the bathrooms.

Snake opened the door, and sure enough Raiden was passed out next to a toilet.

"Fuck, well here he is." Snake pointed, suddenly Pittoo ran over to a toilet and threw up, Snake sighed, he sat next to his son and rubbed his back, "That's right, just get it all out of your system…"

* * *

Sexy Shulk had finished his favorite song, the crowd was going wild! "Thank you! Thank you, I'll be here all week!" He called out. He exited the stage,

"Wow Shulk, you were amazing!" Pit exclaimed,

"Wah!" Waluigi agreed.

Shulk looked around, "Hey where did everyone else go?" he asked.

"Well, Villager ran away screaming the minute you took off your clothes, and Dedede is busy being a feathery." Pit explained.

"I have no idea what that means but okay!" Shulk laughed.

Chrom then walked up to the sexy alien, "Uh….hey, I really liked your performance. can I get you a drink?" He asked, blushing.

Shulk blushed at the blue dad, "S-sure!" he then walked over with Chrom to get some capri suns.

"Wah!" Waluigi said,

"Yep, I guess it's just you and me now buddy." Pit sighed, maybe he could find Villager again somewhere.

Meanwhile at the bar, Mewtwo looked at everyone with disgust, this was supposed to be an emo's only party, but now there were preps, hipsters, furries and memes, absolutely disgusting.

"Hmph, what a bunch of peasants…I wish Shadow Link was still here..." He muttered quietly while drinking a capri sun. "Oh I feel you Mew, someone asked me for _milk_ earlier, can ya believe that?" 80's Cartoon Link laughed.

Mewtwo glared at the fuckboi, "NEVER. CALL ME THAT. _AGAIN._ " He was PISSED.

"Well _excuuuuuse_ me, princess!" 80's Link snapped, he was just begging to get punched.

Sitting right next to them were Falco and Dedede, and Falco was incredibly drunk, "Dedede, I know we've just met but….I think I love you!" He started sobbing.

Dedede's big blue desu eyes sparkled, "Falco, I….I…." He looked past the crying pheasant and saw his frenemy Kirby was chugging down all the capri suns, that fucker! "I…... _I NEED A MONSTA TA CLOBBAH DAT DERE KIRBEH!_ " He screamed, his voice changing into a southern accent, Kirby looked up and ran away crying back to Link.

"Ugh you stupid birds…" Mewtwo grumbled, Falco just continued to sob onto the table.

Back with Shulk and Chrom, the sexual tension was so tense, you could cut it with a knife.

"So…..do you wanna like...go and do it…? Shulk shyly suggested.

"HELL YEAH LET'S FUCKING DO IT!" Chrom cheered, but then he saw someone walking over, it was…...the snuggie fanatic, Meta Knight!

"Holy shit!" Both Chrom and Shulk said,

"Dang that guy's a cutie…" Chrom sighed dreamily, Shulk looked at him,

"Wait Chrom, are you a BLUEBERRY FUCKER?!" Shulk questioned, then again, that _WOULD_ make sense considering Chrom was blue…

Chrom gathered his courage and went up to the blueberry, "Hey cutie, what's your sign?" he tried flirting.

"Uh I'm... a Scorpio." Meta awkwardly answered.

"That's unbelievably sexy. Scorpios are good in bed, I happen to be a Gemini myself." Chrom smiled at his soon-to-be blueberry lover.

"Chrom what the hell is this.." Shulk was so confused, he thought that Chrom wanted to fuck _him_! Not some sexy beach ball!

"So how about... A threesome?" Chrom suggested to his two sexy alien crushes.

The alien duo gasped at the Prince's suggestion. They blushed but both agreed.

The trio made their way to a conveniently placed bedroom. "Are you sure you wanna do it in HERE?!" the two asked. "Well duh, the hotel across the street SUCKS." Chrom unlocked the door with a key he somehow got.

Meanwhile back with Pit and Waluigi ;)

Pit looked around the nightclub, as he was looking for the rest of the team, Waluigi let him climb onto his shoulders so he could get a better view. Then Pit noticed a familiar pink head in the crowd, "Villager!" He called, Sure enough, she heard and made her way over.

"Oh hey, there you guys are!" She said.

"Have you seen Shulk anywhere?" Pit asked her,

"Um…..I'm pretty sure he's gonna do... it... with two other dudes…" She shyly answered, "I saw him go into that room over there!" she pointed at the doorway.

" _HE'S HAVING A THREESOME?!_ " Pit screamed, and everyone heard! The club was dead silent as they stared at the angel.

"Holy smokes someone's gonna have sex! Those lucky bastards!" 80's cartoon Link could be heard. Everyone crowded by the door of the bedroom. Snake, Raiden, and Dark all made their way out of the bathroom, along with Lucina who finally came down from the balcony.

"HOLY SHIT!" Dark Pit yelled before running from his long lost brother and father. He crowded by the door and everyone was silent. Lucina was unaware of the whole situation because she was too busy blasting Linkin Park through her headphones, Dark Pit went back up and tapped her on the shoulder.

"Ugh, what do you want?" she asked, removing an earphone.

"LUCINA YOUR DAD'S AN ALIEN FUCKER!" Dark pit yelled at her.

"What?!" she asked. "Dude I swear if this is some kind of joke..."

"I'M SERIOUS GO LOOK!" The angel pointed over to the crowd.

The two edgy teens went over to the room and Lucina heard her dad moaning from the other side.

"Oh no..." Lucina whispered. "DAD! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING!" she shrieked. Chrom screamed like a baby, "L-LUCY YOUR FATHER IS JUST HAVING A BUSINESS CONVERSATION WITH SOME GUYS FROM WORK GO BACK TO PLAYING OUTSIDE!" he yelled.

"What the hell is that!" A British voice yelled,

"Is that SHULK?!" Pit and Villager gasped.

"Oh that's my ass tattoo of the exalt, pretty sexy huh?" Chrom answered.

"No...its really not." A deeper voice replied.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHH!" everyone shouted at the burn Meta Knight just let out.

"Hey, at least I _have_ an ass." Chrom mumbled seductively while simultaneously defending himself, "and WILL YOU ALL GO HOME!" he screamed at everyone outside.

The three continued their business and everyone was still listening.

"OH MY GOD!" Link screamed, he put his hands over Kirby's non-existent ears, he was Link's son now.

"This is so not happening!" Lucina yelled and ran out of the nightclub of sheer embarrassment. She sat outside and covered her face with her hands, then she noticed a car had pulled up, "Huh?" She wondered, the door opened and it was….Palutena! She looked fucking PISSED.

"Have you seen my kids anywhere?" The goddess walked up to the teen.

"Y-you mean Pit and Dark Pit right? They're both inside." Lucina looked up at the goddess.

"Thank you Lucina." Palutena smiled at the princess then barged into the nightclub.

" _WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY CHILDREN AND MY TEAM! ALSO MY EX-HUSBAND!_ " She screamed at the top of her lungs, she even had her staff out. The crowd slowly cleared away out of fear to reveal most of the Meme Team plus Dark Pit, Snake, and his adopted son, Raiden.

"Where the fuck have you all been?!" Palutena snapped, "Also where is Shulk?!"

Snake pointed at the door to the bedroom, "He's in there."

"We're all going home _NOW_. Do you all have any idea what time it is? Its one in the morning!" The goddess mom scolded everyone.

Pit shyly looked down at his Adidas sandals, "Uh sorry mom...I guess we got distracted?".

"It's fine Pit, Dark Pit however….you are GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED!" Palutena shouted.

"What why!" He screamed,

"BECAUSE INSTEAD OF GOING TO DADDY'S FUNERAL YOU THREW A PARTY, WITH ALCOHOL _AND SEX_!" She yelled.

"Jeez whatever I'm gonna go find my friends." Dark Pit flew off, Palutena screamed at him, but he ignored her.

"Ugh he'll come home eventually…" She grumbled, she then turned to Snake, "And you! Oh I can't believe you!" Palutena raised her hand like she was gonna bitch slap him, but then she heard moaning from the nearby room. She stormed over to it, "SHULK!" She screamed, "YOU BETTER GET YOUR ASS OUT OF THERE RIGHT NOW BEFORE I GO INTO THAT ROOM AND DRAG YOU OUT MYSELF!" She screamed.

Shulk quickly walked out of the room... but he was only wearing his boxers."Oh shit!" he blushed,

Villager, Pit, Waluigi, Dedede, and Palutena all stared at him, Snake was busy laughing his ass off, and Raiden was asleep.

"Um….ANYWAYS, can we go home now?" Villager coughed and asked the goddess mom.

"Yes, now that we have almost everyone, we can go." Palutena huffed.

The group then started to walk out of the nightclub, but Chrom sticked his head out the door, "Call us!" He shouted at Shulk.

"I will! I promise…" Shulk whispered to his two lovers.

Palutena was the first to exit the club, she had noticed that Lucina was still sitting outside.

"Did you need a ride Lucina?" The goddess asked.

Lucina looked to the goddess, "I'd say yes, but I don't feel too sure about sitting in the same car as the guy who fucked my dad!" She glared at Shulk who had just walked out, and then sighed. "I'll be fine, thank you for the offer though." .

"Well goodnight then…" Palutena said to the girl. She then walked over to her car and sighed, _It's been a long day...and I still haven't accomplished anything..._ she thought sadly. She stepped inside.

* * *

Meanwhile back in the club, an unexpected person was up in the vents, and they had watched everything that had just happened. It was….Jigglypuff?! She was updating her uwu blog, "Dear my loyal followers uwu," She typed, "I just happened to witness two hot men and a circle do the yaoi! It was just like Dramatical Murder x3!".

Jigglypuff then hit submit, closed her laptop and went to report to the weeaboos.

chapter end.

* * *

THIS CHAPTER HAD SO MUCH SIN IN IT I AM SO SORRY (not really.). Though it makes me wonder if I should change the rating from T to M considering the sexual content in this chapter?

This chapter will clear some things up in future chapters, so that's why we didn't really make it focus on the plot that much, but we had a lot of fun writing this one. Also yeah, Chrom is totally a big alien fucker didn't you know?

Well see you guys next time!

-magicegg


	5. The gang blows up a Sanrio store

Shulk woke up with a terrible headache, well shit son he was hungover! He rubbed his temples and tried to remember what happened last night, he vaguely recalled singing Y.M.C.A by Village People and something about astrology, but that about was it. Then he heard a knock on his door,

"Hey Shulk it's me, Pit!" The voice from outside said.

"Oh come in I guess..." Shulk mumbled, Pit then shortly walked in and gasped at the sexy alien,

"You look terrible! Are you having a hangover? I should get you some water..." He worried..

Shulk looked at the angel confused, "Uh….I don't know….what exactly happened last night?" he asked.

Pit looked over at him, "Do you really want to know? Like, do you _really_ want to know what you did?" Shulk nodded slowly.

Pit sighed, "Well, you had sex with Lucina's dad and one of my mom's friends from her snuggie club.".

" _I DID WHAT?!_ " Shulk shrieked in shock, it was so loud that it probably woke everyone else in the mansion up.

"Yeah, and everyone knows that you're a blueberry fucker now, so don't be surprised if you get teased a lot today, but I actually have something planned for all of us, so maybe you won't?"

Shulk raised his eyebrow, "What exactly did you plan, Pit?" he asked suspiciously.

"Well, it's just something for my mom…...I know she's still really upset about not only losing Bed Bath and Beyond but my step-dad too, so I just wanted to…..blow up the local Sanrio store for her…" Pit quietly confessed.

"Dude, WHAT?" Shulk was shocked, "That's something the weeaboos or emos would do, can't we do something that _isn't_ illegal?"

"Shulk you literally had sex in a public place with a married man and a ball, don't give me that crap!" Pit countered.

"Damn you got me there…" Shulk mumbled, "Okay fine, but can we discuss this with the rest of the team first?" he asked the angel.

Pit nodded, "That's what I was gonna do!" he smiled.

* * *

"Wait, you want to do WHAT?!" Villager questioned.

"Shhhh, not so loud!" Pit shushed her, "You can't let anybody know about this…especially my mom!" He stressed to the group.

"Wah!" Waluigi shouted like he wanted to show them something, he pulled out a bag and looked through it, he made some grumbling sounds until he found what he was looking for, "Wah." He finally said, he held up a bomb for the group to see, can you believe that shit! The entire group gasped.

"P-Put that thing away! Do you wanna kill us all!" Dedede hissed at Waluigi.

Waluigi quickly put the bomb back into his bag, and Fox just happened to walk by, the entire group just smiled at him innocently as he strolled through.

"Fucking weirdos…." Fox muttered, he grabbed an apple from the table and went on his way, the entire team glared at the fucking furry the second he walked out, but anyways,

"Alright, so we need to make sure that no one is around when we do this, okay guys?" Pit whispered.

"So maybe around night time?" Shulk suggested while he drank his water.

"No Shulk, we're gonna do it during the middle of the god damn day, YES WE'RE GOING TO DO IT AT NIGHT!" Pit yelled.

"Oh but Shulk already _did_ do it at night. " Dedede snickered.

"SHUT UP!" Shulk screamed out of embarrassment, his face was turning as red as the red sea after being drenched in the blood of a million soldiers after the cold war...which was ironic considering he fucked two blueberries the night before! Those damn blueberries.

Pit sighed, "Anyways, are we all good?"

"Yeah….." The memes answered, then they all got up and left the room, but unknown to them, someone had been watching the whole time.

.

.

 _It seems like they're finally starting to take some real action,_ the person thought. _Maybe they'll be able to prove themselves worthy of being a group? And perhaps we should tell them the truth of what REALLY happened that day..._ The figure then vanished into the unknown.

* * *

Meanwhile at the Shopping District, the weeaboos had taken over- I mean renovated the entire place, throughout all the stores there was weeaboo and emo merchandise, but Princess Peach was still not pleased, in fact she was very upset.

"I just don't understand!" She cried to Jigglypuff, who had just finished her report of last night's party, "I do all of this for Pittoo-senpi, and he didn't even invite watashi to his party!" She wailed into a body pillow of Hatsune Miku, they were sitting outside under a veranda.

"Gomenasai Peach-sama…" The balloon pokemon tried to comfort the princess, "Maybe anata needs to show him everything you've done for him desu ka?".

Peach looked up into Jigglypuff's eyes, "You're right! Watashi should tell him everything!" she said determinedly, but then Madoka looked over to them,

"Peach-chan, you shouldn't tell him everything just yet, we need to know _for sure_ that he's on our side." She placed her hand over the one of the sniffling princess as she explained. "I know you really love Pittoo-kun, but we can't tell him everything just yet, maybe you should take him on a tour instead?" Madoka suggested.

Peach then sighed, "Watashi knows you're right Madoka-sama…..I will take him on a date desu!" Her blue eyes sparkled.

The weeb goddess smiled, "Good! I'm glad you're feeling better now, Peach-chan!"

Then Anime Vice President Marth walked under the shade, "Peach-senpai, the new recruits are here!" he reported to the princess.

"Hai! Tell them that watashi will be there in a few minutes!" Peach smiled at the prince, then she looked over to her two pink friends, "Let's go meet the new recruits watashi invited, minna-san!"

The four weebs went to the entrance of the Shopping District, where four other people waited. There were the two superwholocks Toon Link and Robin, and the two recruits.

"Konnichiwa minna-san!" Peach greeted the four, "Konnichiwa Peach-senpai!" Robin and Toon Link waved back.

"Ah anata must be the new recruits!" Marth walked up to the other two, one was a normal human with orange hair dressed entirely in black, he was eating a stick of pocky, the other was an orange carrot-shaped blob in a chef outfit.

"Hey I'm Gaius, and this is Chef Kawasaki." The ginger introduced themselves to the weeaboos, he popped another stick of pocky into his mouth, which was very sexy, Peach blushed but quickly remembered that her kokoro belonged only to Kuro-kun, she shook her head,

"K-konnichiwa Gaius-san and Chef Kawasaki-san!" Peach waved to the recruits, "Let's show them around our base, minna-san!" she turned to the rest of the weeaboos.

"Haiiiiiiii!" They all replied.

"Wait everyone!" Chef Kawasaki stopped the group, they turned around to look at him,

"Hai, Kawasaki-san?" Peach asked,

"I made sweets for everyone!" Chef Kawasaki smiled, he then looked inside the pocket of his apron and gasped in horror, the sweets were gone! He looked over at Gaius, the only logical suspect, "Did you eat the sweets for everyone Gaius?" He asked the ginger who just so happened to have the remains of several sweets on his face,

"Yeah, they tasted like shit."

" _GAIIIIIIIIIIIUUUUSSSSSSSS!_ " Everyone laughed except for Chef Kawasaki, his beady desu eyes were tearing up, he had worked so hard on those treats! Poor fella.

* * *

Meanwhile outside of the mansion, the memes were discussing the plan under the tree.

"Alright, my mom has one of her snuggie club meetings tonight, so she probably won't be around, which is great." Pit said. He then drew a box in the dirt with a stick he got from Villager, he then narrowed his eyes, "How do you spell 'Hello Kitty Hellhole'?" He whispered shyly.

Villager shook her head, and took the stick back from Pit, she then wrote it in the dirt for him,

"OOOOOHHHH THAT'S HOW….yeah I can't read." Pit confessed.

Dedede gasped, "OMG TWINSIES!" He squealed,

"You too?" Pit gasped, his eyes sparkling, Dedede and Pit then proceeded to twirl around in the field for whatever fucking reason!

"Dude what the hell….." Shulk stared at the two.

"Wah…." Waluigi shook his head in embarrassment, he hoped to whatever god was listening that no one else was watching.

"Pit! We need to discuss the plan, remember?" Villager called out to them, but he was still twirling around like an idiot.

"Did that fucker just ignore me oh hell no time to pull out the big guns! IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE RIGHT NOW I'M GONNA DELETE YOUR SHITTY ASS GO-ANIMATE ACCOUNT!" She screamed.

"Crap!" Pit shrieked and started running back over to the tree,

"Is his Go-Animate account really that bad?" Shulk asked Villager,

She nodded, "Yeah its filled with those Dead Meat videos and other things like it, I think I'd be doing everyone a big favor if I deleted it." She moved the cursor of her laptop over the deactivate account button, but she was too late.

"I'm here, I'm here! Please don't delete my Go-Animate account!" Pit cried,

"Well then, what's your big and fantastic plan, Pit?" Shulk asked sarcastically.

"Okay so it's actually pretty basic, we put a….." He quickly scanned the area in case anyone else was around…."Bob-omb…...next to that giant Sanrio warehouse thing, and then we run like heck!" He grinned as he drew the plan in the dirt.

"Wait...that's it?" Shulk asked.

"Yep! That's the plan." Pit said.

Everyone stared at Pit,

"Shouldn't we have...a lookout or something?" Shulk suggested,

Pit shook his head, "Nah, we don't need one, we have brute force!", which caused Shulk and almost everyone else to sigh.

* * *

"Alright everyone, our monthly snuggie fanclub meeting is about to begin." Palutena calmly stated, she was wearing her favorite cheetah print snuggie that she bought from Bed Bath & Beyond. The snuggie fanclub wasn't just about snuggies though, it also focused on many other infomercial and Bed Bath & Beyond products as well. Shake Weights, Magic Bullets, Bendaroos, Vince the Shamwow guy, you name it. It also was a very exclusive club, only those who owned snuggies could join, so only 6 people were actually in it. There was Link, the hero, Lucas, the boy from Nowhere, Meta Knight, the edgy blueberry, Rosalina, the mysterious space princess along with her luma, and Palutena herself.

Everyone sat in their snuggies in beanie bags around the room, except for green mom.

"First I'd like to apologize to everyone for the lack of club activity lately, but as we all know Peach and her army of weeaboos have taken over Bed Bath and Beyond!" Palutena explained, everyone gasped,

"Wait, why are you guys gasping this literally happened about a week ago, shouldn't we know about this already?" Lucas questioned.

"Oh yes, most of us _were_ there when it happened, weren't we?" Rosalina chuckled.

"But where will we shop now? Lucas worried,

"I don't know Lucas, but I hop-" Palutena was suddenly interrupted, the door was kicked down by force,

"YOU GUYS HAVING A MEETING WITHOUT ME?"

Palutena recognized that voice, it was…. Ike Cena again! Can you fucking believe that shit?! He was back from fucking HELL, aka California where he normally vacationed to.

" _Ike._ " Palutena glared at the bara.

'Hey babe, miss me?" He winked at the goddess,

"NO WHY THE FUCK WOULD I MISS THE SAME FUCKER WHO KILLED MY GANNY DADDY YOU FUCKING IDIOT!" She screamed at him, she pulled her staff out from under her snuggie,

"Hey, that was self-defense! You know your 'daddy' punched first!" Ike Cena defended himself.

"Wait, why would she marry her dad?" Lucas asked Rosalina quietly, "Um, maybe its best you didn't know…you'll probably understand when you're older..." The space princess smiled awkwardly, she then turned to Ike,

"Ike, I suggest you leave before things get ugly. You aren't welcome here." She warned.

"Haha, and then what?" He asked, "Besides, they way you all are now, none of you would be able to defeat _me._ " Ike pointed at the goddess mom and smirked, "She's knows.".

Palutena glared at him, but she knew he was right, none of them would stand a chance against Ike Cena, he was just too swole.

"What do you even want then, Ike?!" Link blurted, his fists were clenched, his pupils were dilated, it was so edgy, that if it were any more edgy it would be Twilight Princess. But that's not the point, what was the point was that Link was fucking pissed that this very fucker who had taken away the remaining happiness of Goddess Mom had walked on in for no reason and probably would delay the monthly Adam Sandler movie! Or so he thought,

"Relax, I just came to deliver a letter from Blue Dad." Ike Cena said,

"WHO THE FUCK IS BLUE DAD?!" They all screamed at once, except for Lucas because he was a precious cinnamon roll.

Ike Cena sighed. "He's... Chrom. He has about 18 kids because he'll put his dick into just about anything that lets him. One of them is mine but I forgot which one." Everyone gasped,. "Anyways, he wanted me to give this letter to ' _the sexy ball that I fucked last night_ '." He added.

Meta Knight shrieked as war flashbacks came to him of the night before. He remembered Chrom's ass tattoo and ran away. "Uh... That's.. Meta Knight, right?" Ike Cena asked.

Everyone choked, and nodded. Ike Cena went to go catch up with the blueberry. "Listen... I know Chrom has a shitty ass tattoo, but just take this. He says it's important." Meta Knight sighed and snatched the letter from the bara's hands, and opened it. Written on the letter was,

" _Hey babe I never got your name so I just went with the next best thing :_ ) _Also I made us a mixtape, it's me singing E.T by Katy Perry, because you know, I fucked two aliens! I've never done that before, it was fun! Haha! Call me baby ;) -Chrom_ " Chrom's number was written at the bottom of the letter. It was 867-5309, just like the 80's song, Jenny, the mixtape was also taped next to it.

Meta Knight cringed, "I should've never drank those Capri Suns…." the blueberry said, trying not to excessively roll his R's. He went back to the meeting room, everyone was staring at him except for Rosalina for whatever reason.

"I can't believe you got to fuck Chrom! Oh wait I already knew that." Link remembered the night before, he recalled all the noises he had tried to hard to protect his newly adopted son Kirby from hearing, but it was all in vain, that stupid sexy Chrom was louder than expected.

"Link, there are CHILDREN here, and don't you dare bring that up again!" Meta hissed at him while gesturing at Lucas, Link snapped out of his thoughts and opened his mouth to speak again, but then his ears perked up like he had heard something.

" _GOLLY!_ " he heard from down the hall.

"Oh no..." Link whispered dreadfully, "It's... my arch nemesis cousin..." he continued, the sound of footsteps grew closer, and closer...Link's face grew more fearful as the sound of footsteps and giggling got louder,

But then it stopped? Link sighed in relief...

"I BROUGHT MY STUFF!" A kid, drawn in with a weird ass hairstyle, big nose and a green cap suddenly barged in,

"CDI-LINK!" Link shrieked, "WHO BROUGHT YOU HERE! WAS IT 80'S LINK?!"

"Oh gee golly, Link, I really don't know!" CDI-Link wondered, "But I brought my snuggie!"

Palutena sighed. "You're LATE, CDI." she said to him, with a stern look on her face. "Whatever. Just put on your snuggie and have a seat. We're gonna be watching Big Daddy soon."

"OH BOY!" CDI-Link shouted, as he slipped on his green snuggie and sat near Rosalina.

"Gee... sure is _BOOOOOORRRIIINGG_ around here!" he whispered to the space princess. "How 'bout a kiss, for luck?!"

Rosalina cringed, "You wish." was all she could say before she almost gagged.

"Alright everyone, quiet down, we're starting the movie!" Palutena told the snuggies as she put in the DVD, "Now personally, this is _my_ favorite Adam Sandler movie ;)" She said before sitting down, everyone else groaned except for CDI-Link and again, Lucas because he didn't understand.

* * *

Back with the memes holy shit they were gonna commit a major crime! They all looked over at the store from a nearby hill,

"Alright Waluigi, you can do this!" Pit assured Waluigi, no way was _he_ gonna put a bomb near that weeaboo hellhole!

"W-wah…." Waluigi wah'ed nervously, then slowly crawled over to the Sanrio warehouse.

Villager looked over to her team mates, "So if we do this successfully, the weeaboos will have no Hello Kitty merchandise whatsoever?" She asked.

"Yup, and they can forget about My Melody, Tuxedo Sam and Badtz Maru too!" Pit laughed, Dedede sweat nervously at what Pit had just said, as he personally liked Tuxedo Sam and Badtz Maru...not that he would ever admit it.

The four continued to watch Waluigi leopard crawled his way to the giant Sanrio warehouse with the bom-omb in his hand, it was very sexy.

"Alright guys quiet down, he's almost there!" Shulk watched with his binoculars that he had recently bought before the shopping center had turned into an anime convention. They watched as Waluigi carefully got up and lit the bom-omb, as it started walking towards the store, Waluigi quickly broke out into a sprint which was rather quick since his legs were long, almost like a daddy long leg leg's.

"He's so majestic as he runs..." Shulk watched in awe, everyone else had started running into the trees behind them,

"SHULK WE GOTTA GO SAVE YOUR THIRST FOR LATER!" Dedede grabbed the sexy alien and ran as fast as his non-existent legs could take him.

" _Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!_ " Waluigi wah'ed as he ran past the two, into the forest ahead. As Dedede and Shulk ran into the forest, they heard an almost deafening blast from behind, everyone quickly put their hands over their ears until it was quiet.

"Holy cow, what kind of Bom-omb was that!" Pit finally spoke, breaking the silence.

"Wah…" Waluigi wondered, maybe he had accidently brought the death bom-omb instead of a regular one? Or maybe it was because the store had flammable material inside, because that was definitely more logical? Everyone shrugged, it didn't matter, as long as a weeaboo hellhole was destroyed they had done the mission successfully.

"Alright, who wants to go check out the damage with me?" Shulk asked, "Eh, I'll go." Dedede said, the two went to leave, but suddenly!

"Not so fast, _Meme Team_." A voice was heard from above.

"Uh oh…." Pit gulped, had they been caught?

"Shit! I SAID WE SHOULD HAVE A LOOKOUT! BUT _NOOO_ 'WE HAVE BRUTE FORCE SHULK'" Shulk hissed at Pit,

"Oh yeah, _very_ good choice making him the brains of the operation." Another voice was heard laughing,

"Hey! I had a _VERY_ good plan, thank you very much!" Pit snapped, "Why don't you come out if you're so daring?" He huffed.

A figure jumped down from the trees, It was….Sheik! The edgy Legend of Zelda Naruto!

"SHEIK?!" Everyone gasped,

"If you had such a good plan, then why did you leave it written in the dirt for all to see?" Sheik asked as they stepped into the moonlight, they were wearing a beanie and a Neff shirt.

"PIT!" Everyone yelled at the angel,

"Oh crap, guess I forgot about that…" Pit scratched the back of his head. Then Villager stepped up in front of him, "Hey I heard two voices! Where's the other one?!" she threatened, before pulling out her axe. "I'll start chopping down trees if I have to!" She began to swing her axe at a tree,

"DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE CHOP THAT TREE DOWN FUCKER!" The second voice snapped, they slowly climbed down from the tree Villager was about to cut down, it was a young girl wearing hipster glasses and a Roxy shirt over a red and black dress.

"Wait, VIRIDI?!" Pit gasped,

"Oh hey, what's up Pit?" She asked.

Then Villager had a sudden recollection of the two people infront of them, "Hey, I saw you two at Bed Bath & Beyond! In the emo section!"

" _AND YOU DIDN'T TELL US?!_ " The memes all yelled,

'Well I was interrupted!" Villager stammered.

Viridi narrowed her eyes, "Oh! You were the weeaboo girl!" She remembered.

"I'm NOT a weeaboo!" Villager huffed, but she was ignored,

"Yes, I remember you as well, Villager." Sheik walked up to the group, "Viridi and I…. Well, we are the leaders of the Tilly's gang and it's NOT a store for wannabe emos and posers!"

"Huh?" The memes went, not sure why Sheik would even bring that last part up.

"Anyways, we've been watching over you six for some time now, but hey now that I mentioned it, where's Green Mom?" Viridi asked the group.

"We're not tellin-" Shulk was interrupted by Pit, "She's having her snuggie fan club meeting!" he blurted out.

"PIT YOU WANKER! YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO TELL THEM!" Shulk screamed,

"Oh _relax_ , we aren't your enemies…..we're more like, allies." Viridi yawned. "Tell 'em Sheik."

"You see….. the weeaboos also took away our Tilly's at the shopping center as well, and now we have to drive an extra thirty minutes to the mall to go to the one there, we're almost in the same situation as you." Sheik explained.

"Wait, we have a MALL?" Dedede gasped,

"Yeah, I've never heard of any mall…?" Shulk commented,

Viridi gave them all weird looks, "Do you guys even go outside? Or do you just never leave town?"

"Well my mom only shops at Bed Bath & Beyond, but I went to the mall yesterday with my new dad!" Pit exclaimed.

"That's….real sick Pit, we know, we saw." Sheik sighed at the prep,

Viridi shrugged, "I guess we knew about the mall before it was cool."

"Viridi you hipster fuck, you can't even say that anymore, its mainstream now!" Sheik scolded the hipster,

"Fuck off Sheik you still listen to Avril Levigne!"

Sheik sighed and went silent...but suddenly they looked up in shock, the ninja then gestured for everyone to be quiet. "Do... any of you hear that?" The skater ninja whispered, everyone shook their heads, and continued to stay silent. But then they all heard a faint noise…..it sounded almost like sirens, but instead of a wee-ooo noise it was an uuu-wuu noise, almost like... _JIGGLYPUFF_.

"Shit." Viridi cursed, "It's Peach and her cronies!"

Sheik looked at everyone, "The weeaboos probably found out what you did, we have to leave now!" And before anyone could protest, Sheik threw down a deku nut and everything went white.

* * *

The weeaboos all ran over to the destroyed Sanrio warehouse, and they all gasped in shock, Jigglypuff was still making the uwu siren noises,

"Jigglypuff-san... stop kudasai..." Marth begged the balloon pokémon, who had gone uwu in his ear the whole damn time.

"Um okay sweaty, its a free country I can do what I want hun! :)" She smiled at the prince, but anyways,

"Oh my kami-sama! Who would do this?!" Peach cried,

Madoka looked sadly at the blown up store, "My Melody-chan...you deserved better..." was all she could say.

Gaius looked at the ruins and shed a single tear for Chococat, his favorite Sanrio character, the tear sparkled in the moonlight, like Team Rocket after being blasted off again. " _C-CHOCOCAT! !_!" He yelled as he looked up into the sky dramatically, "They'll pay for this…...whoever did this, they'll pay." He swore as he clenched his fist, It was just like that scene from Kingdom Hearts when Goofy 'died'.

Everyone looked at the ground sadly at the loss of their beloved Sanrio store...

"Minna..." Peach looked at all the weeaboos sadly, but then determination and a bit of rage filled her eyes, "Daijoubu minna-san...I'll find whoever did this horrible horrible crime desu! Soshite, watashi will make them suffer for this!" She cried.

chapter end.

* * *

Someone please edit that one gif of the family in their snuggies raising the roof with the members of the Snuggie Fanclub.

This chapter isn't as funny as the rest I know, but its kind of a build-up for some of the later chapters as well.

Also, I didn't update as often because, I'm busy which is fine, and also I feel like people are lowkey pissed at us because apparently we're """copying""" Hot Topic Krew? Which makes me kind of sad to be honest. But anyways enough about that, we finally meet the Snuggie Fanclub and two members of the Tilly's gang! And will the weeaboos find out who blew up the Sanrio store? Who the fuck knows.

-magicegg


	6. Chrom's Strange Addiction

The Snuggie Fanclub was in the middle of watching Big Daddy, starring Adam Sandler, the lights were off and the room smelled like popcorn, it was very warm and cozy.

"Golly gee! This is a really funny movie!" CDI-Link giggled to Rosalina, the princess sighed, hoping that her suffering would soon be over. Her Luma whined a bit at her while it sat in her lap.

"I know, I know, it'll be over soon…" She quietly comforted it.

"Shhhh!" Palutena shushed the three, "This is my favorite part so shut up!".

Unfortunately for her, fate had other plans, a huge pile of people suddenly appeared in the meeting room!

The goddess sighed and paused the movie, "Can you all take your orgy elsewhere?" She snapped, before noticing who it was, she then saw some familiar faces groaning from pain,

"I gotta admit, that escape was pretty sick." Sheik remarked, they adjusted their beanie and looked to where the group had warped, but what they hadn't expected was to warp right into Green Mom's movie night!

"Shit." The ninja quietly cursed.

Pit looked up to see what happened, and saw his mom glaring at him, "O-oh hey mom….." he smiled as he looked at the goddess.

"PIT?! I TOLD YOU ABSTINENCE ONLY!" Palutena shrieked, the Snuggies all looked at the pile worriedly, just what the hell was going on?

"We were NOT having an orgy!" Someone else finally said, Shulk popped his head out of the pile and looked at the goddess.

"Shulk, I find that pretty hard to believe considering you had one last night." Palutena pointed out. Shulk sighed with frustration,

"At least I don't have a daddy kink!" he snapped, Palutena gasped,

"How dare you kinkshame me in the middle of Big Daddy! ALL OF YOU OUT RIGHT NOW!" She screamed and warped them all out of the room for a second time.

They had warped right into the living room area, where Captain Falcon and Little Mac were arguing over the TV,

"I wanna watch my soaps!" Captain Falcon insisted,

"Can't you just DVR it?" Little Mac suggested, "I'm watching Wrestling right now!"

Captain Falcon sighed, "Mac, you KNOW the DVR is full because of those damn Superwholocks Robin and Toon Link!"

"HOW DARE YOU INSULT SUPERWHOLOCK!" Someone screamed from the other room, shit. It was…Zelda the other Superwholock! She stormed into the room and glared at Captain Falcon,

" _Captain Falcon_ , I should've known, you've messed with the wrong fandom!" She warned, but then she noticed Sheik!

"Who are you?" They asked each other.

"I don't know, you tell ME!" they both said at the same time again.

"This is some matrix shit, okay guys let's get out of here!" Shulk freaked out.

"No! I love that movie! I wanna see what happens!" said Pit while glaring at his future-seeing friend. "You're one to talk anyways, you've got that... you know... That's so Raven thing!" Shulk sighed and agreed with his small angel friend. However, Zelda and Sheik were still arguing,

"Why are they even arguing in the first place?" Villager asked Viridi, figuring she would know why,

"I dunno, maybe that's their super-secret TWIN connection talking!" Viridi shrugged.

Pit glared at her, "YOU SAID THE SAME THING TO ME AND PITTOO CAN'T YOU BE A LITTLE MORE CREATIVE!" he shouted. "Wait, they're twins?" he said afterwards.

Shulk sighed AGAIN and told Pit what was going on, "Zelda IS Sheik, Pit. You fucking wanker." he said.

"So is Sheik a guy or a girl?" Pit then asked confused,

"Sheik is a guy, Zelda's a girl, can I make it anymore obvious?" Shulk replied, Sheik then turned around and stared at Shulk, "Holy SHIT YOU LIKE AVRIL LAVIGNE?!"

"Hell yeah I do!" Shulk exclaimed.

"Wait a sec, if someone sees themselves from another timeline, like, time travel and shit, doesn't one of them die?" Shulk gasped.

Zelda smirked, "That WOULD be the case Shulk, but since I managed to find the same stuff they use on Doctor Who, we both can live at the same time." She explained. Everyone was PISSED.

"DOCTOR WHO SUUUUCKKSSSS!" Captain Falcon shouted from the couch. Robin, Toon Link, and Zelda gasped.

"Oh. no. you. DIDN'T." They all said, because they walked into the room when no one was looking.

"THAT'S STRIKE TWO! IF YOU SAY ONE MORE THING ABOUT SUPERWHOLOCK, YOU'RE DEAD FUCKO." Robin put his sword against Captain Falcon's neck and it turned him on.

"That's kinda…..kinky." Falcon shyly admitted,

Robin groaned with disgust. "Don't tell me you're like CHROM-senpai." He snapped,

"Wait….what did you say Robin…" Everyone gasped,

"Uh, senpai?" He asked.

"Shit." Villager went,

"Konnichiwa minna-san! Nyaaaaaaaa!" They all heard from a distance. Peach walked into the living-room, both Sheik and Viridi glared at the weeaboo,

"Peach you fucker." Viridi snarled at the princess.

"Konnichiwa fake-emo bakas!" Peach glared back at the skater and the hipster while smiling at the same time. But then someone else walked in with Peach….it was Pittoo!

Pit gasped, "Where have you BEEN Pittoo?"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT! And what are you preps doing here! First Pit and now Viridi?" Dark Pit snapped.

"Why are you literally everywhere we go? It's kind of weird..." Villager asked,

They both ignored her question, "Kuro-kun, don't let these baka ruin our date nyaa!" Peach giggled.

"Alright fine, babe, let's get out of here." Dark Pit said to her, The couple then walked out of the room laughing at all of them.

"So….they're dating now?" Viridi commented, "I feel bad for you, Pit."

"I want to DIE." He replied.

Then the TV turned to a news broadcast, "Aw c'mon! I was just about to watch General Hospital!" Captain Falcon complained, on the news was footage of the blown up Sanrio store,

"Shit." Everyone silently cursed,

The news anchor Mii was on the screen to give his report. "Hey everyone, looks like the local giant Sanrio store has been blown up tonight, witnesses say that the suspect of the bombing was a very tall and skinny white male, wearing dark clothing."

Waluigi looked around nervously, Captain Falcon, Little Mac, Robin and the other two superwholocks all stared at him.

"Tall, skinny, white male in dark clothing, I think I have an idea of who it is." Captain Falcon said. Little Mac, and the Superwholocks nodded in agreement.

"W-wah…" Waluigi frowned at the five,

" _SLENDERMAN_." They all shouted at once, especially Robin because he loves entry-level shit tier horror games from 2012.

"Oh god, not that shitty game again…" Viridi groaned, "You guys need to play some _REAL_ horror games, like Yume Nikki."

"VIRIDI THAT'S STRIKE ONE!" Robin and the Superwholocks shouted at her,

"Fuck you!" She shouted back ,while adjusting her glasses. "Five Night's at Freddy's wasn't even scary." She added, the Superwholocks gasped at her bold statement,

"Ohhhhhhh I am SO DONE! YOU'VE MESSED WITH THE WRONG FANDOM VIRIDI!" Robin screamed, Toon Link and Zelda held the anime boy back,

"Don't do it Robbie, it's what she wants." Zelda pleaded.

"Wait... ROBBIE?!" Pit screamed. "They're dating too?! This is so fucking weird."

Zelda glared at Pit while also blushing, "Says the one who's friend fucked a blueberry."

"Actually, Chrom is a blueberry too…." Toon Link whispered to her,

"TWO blueberries!" Zelda then added.

"Is this just going to be a running joke...because I'm already getting tired of it." Shulk sighed in frustration. Suddenly they all heard a gasp from the Captain,

"What's wrong, Cap'?" Dedede asked,

"M-my soaps…..they're all GONE. The screen….LOOK AT THE SCREEN!" Captain Falcon pointed in horror, on the screen was Monster Musume, that one monster girl hentai that everyone on Tumblr loves.

"Peach must have something to do with this!" Sheik pointed out,

"Those damn weeaboos…..ruining my soap operas….replacing it with this shit tier anime hentai, I'll never forgive them…" Captain Falcon swore dramatically, the Meme Team gasped at what he said,

"Falcon are you…..also against weeaboos?" Villager questioned,

"I am, are you?" He asked,

The entire meme team got into a dramatic pose, without Goddess Mom though, they all began to say the same thing, "We are the Meme Team, a special unit of memes created by Palutena herself in order to eliminate the weeaboo menace." They chanted, they then got out of formation and back to y'know, normal fucking people.

"Huh, now that I think about it, even though we're called the Meme Team, we don't do anything that's….memey, y'know? This is too weeaboo-ey. Like somethin' straight outta Sailor Moon." Dedede said,

Captain Falcon gasped, "Memes? I could help with that….."

"Holy shit….do you want to join the Meme Team Captain Falcon…." Shulk gasped,

"JOIN JOIN JOIN JOIN JOIN JOIN JOIN!" Pit shouted several times, for maybe like an hour,

"If it will bring my soap operas back, then YES I'll join, and I'll help you guys become more memey like myself!" Captain Falcon said.

"HECK YEAH!" Pit exclaimed, "We need a new cheer. Can you help us with that, Captain?" he continued.

"I got one! Okay, everyone stand in order, the middle is where Palutena goes but she's not FUCKING here, anyways and then you say your memes" The captain with a glorious ass smirked.

"I'M REALLY FEELING IT!" Shulk shouted.

"I'm killager." Villager said menacingly.

"This is SPARTA!" Pit screamed,

Captain Falcon stared at him clearly disappointed, "First of all Pit, that isn't even a meme anymore, let alone even being funny, and second of all, I said YOUR memes."

"What's my meme then? Is it... FLOOR ICE CREAM!?" Pit said in excitement, everyone groaned.

"YES PIT THAT'S THE ONE THAT'S THE FUCKING ONE LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH GOD DAMN." Shulk yelled. "Okay here goes... FLOOR ICE CREAM!" Pit shouted.

"This is the part where Palutena does her stripper pole thing." Captain Falcon explained,

"OOOOOHHHH" They all said, and obviously knew what he was talking about.

"I'm already perfect." Dedede smirked while lying on the floor.

"FALCOOOOONNNN...PUUUUUNNNNNNCCCCHHHHHH!" Captain Falcon screamed, with everyone clapping.

"Wah." Waluigi said, sounding kind of depressed.

"Yes! Great work everyone." Captain Falcon cheered the group.

Little Mac, Sheik, and Viridi all stared at them and clapped. "Beautiful…..just beautiful….almost as beautiful as Doc…" Little Mac wiped a tear from his eye, Robin, Zelda both scoffed at the Meme Team and walked away, probably to find the weeaboos.

"Shit, should we have done that in front of them?" Villager worried,

"Who cares? They'll probably forget later." Captain Falcon shrugged. "You know, I'm totally having a deja vu moment right now, like I've done this before." Shulk said,

"Maybe its a memory from an alternate universe!" Viridi suggested

"Ooh I totally have to use that concept for my Supernatural fanfiction!" Toon Link exclaimed, the hipster glared at him,

"The fuck you won't! That's copyrighted material you fucker." Viridi snapped at the cartoon, he stuck his tongue out at her and ran off to find the other Superwholockians.

They then heard a sneeze come from a corner of the room, everyone turned around and saw a short blonde kid dressed entirely in black, and single shoulder plate, so basically a Kingdom Hearts O.C.

"SORA WILL NEVER BE IN SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!" Captain Falcon screamed.

The kid looked up in shock at everyone staring at them and quickly ran away.

"I don't think that was an kingdom hearts character, Falcon…In fact...they looked more like…." Sheik then gasped, "Shulk…..did you use protection last night when you did it with Chrom?!"

"Oh bloody hell, will you quit bringing that up!" Shulk snapped,

"No Shulk! This is important! That may have been…..your future kid." Sheik explained, everyone gasped.

"But...you're a Zelda character, how do you know about future kids? Isn't that a Fire Emblem thing?" Villager asked,

"I actually happen to be close friends with a Fire Emblem character….Sumia. Chrom's wife, she told me everything about future children." Sheik dropped yet another bombshell, "Actually I should probably call her and tell her we have another Code Blue situation on our hands. But maybe we should wait until we know for sure that's YOUR kid." They then added.

"Wait, what's Code Blue?" Shulk questioned, "Its like…..whenever Chrom has unprotected sex and produces another future kid, which is pretty much all the time ." Sheik explained.

"But like I said, that may not even have been yours. Who knows? Maybe your kid is another smasher?"

Captain Falcon was shocked, "This is just like that one episode of Spongebob…" He said,

"The one where Spongebob and Patrick raise a clam?" Dedede asked.

"Yeah, that one!" Captain Falcon exclaimed,

"Do any of you have Chrom's phone number? I need it for reasons." Sheik asked,

"I have it." Someone said not loud enough to be heard,

"Huh?" Everyone went, they all turned around and the entire Snuggie Fanclub was behind them!

"Hey guys we just got finished watching Big Daddy." Palutena said.

"MOMMY I MISSED YOU SO MUCH! ALSO PITTOO IS DATING PEACH!" Pit cried,

The goddess gasped, "WHAT! !" She screamed,

"Who cares, who has the fuck has Chrom's phone number!" Sheik shouted AGAIN.

"Pit please tell me this is a joke..." Palutena sighed.

"Nope, I'm totally SERIOUS SERIOUS SERIOUS SERIOUS SERIOUS SERIOUS!" he shouted, trying to start his own trend on Go-Animate where instead of saying grounded a million times, he says serious.

"I SAID-" Sheik began to yell again,

"YES SHEIK WE KNOW OKAY WE FUCKING KNOW YOU NEED CHROM'S PHONE NUMBER! WE GET IT SHEIK, WE FUCKING GET IT SHUT THE FUCK UP! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! " Link yelled at the ninja,

"WELL WHO HAS IT THEN ASSHOLE!" Sheik screamed.

"I do..." Sheik heard an edgy voice from around the corner along with a spanish guitar theme playing, it was….Meta Knight obviously, who else!

"NOT ONE OF YOU HOT TOPIC PIECES OF SHIT I SWEAR TO G-" Sheik screamed, but was interrupted by the smol boll handing them a piece of paper.

"Ignore what it says just get the number..." The sexy beach ball wearing a mask said.

"Uh thanks? Hey dude wanna come join the Tilly's gang? ;)" Sheik winked at Meta Knight, though it was hard to tell considering they had emo hair covering their eyes.

"Maybe... If I can bring my snuggie... Also get the number already i'm on a schedule..." He said.

Sheik dialed the number on their iPhone and waited a few moments, Shulk and everyone else looked at Sheik in anticipation,

"Hey Sumia, it's me, Sheik. Yeah I think we have another Code Blue on our hands….Yeah, I'm pretty sure he's a sex addict you guys need to have an intervention or something. Wait….WHAT?! Okay…... I'll tell everyone, bye!" Sheik said on the phone.

"WE'RE GOING ON THE MAURY SHOW EVERYONE GET IN THE VAN." The skater ninja yelled.

"Oh BOY this'll be FUN! GOLLY!" CDI-Link shouted.

"Wait! What the hell is going on Sheik!" Shulk yelled, Sheik looked over at him,

"Sumia has had it with Chrom going around and fucking everyone he sees! So you guys are probably gonna be on the actual show." They explained.

"SHIT! WE'RE SUCH WANKERS!" Shulk screamed, it was kind of hot.

"WOOOOO THIS'LL BE SO FUN! MOM WE MIGHT GET ON TV!" Pit shouted enthusiastically.

"Yeah okay uh why do we gotta go in the van though, I can just warp you guys" Palutena said, proceeding to do so.

* * *

"Sumia, I can explain…!" Chrom said hastily.

"CHROMMY WE'RE GETTING A DIVORCE ,I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!" Sumia sobbed and everyone stared.

Chrom sighed. "UGH OKAY FINE JUST... LET'S JUST FIND OUT WHO THE MOTHER OR FATHER IS ALREADY!"

"Wait, what!?" Pit asked."ANOTHER kid?!"

"Oh my god Pitstain have you even PAYED ATTENTION to what's been going on!" He heard an extremely emo voice from around the corner.

"PITTOO WHY ARE YOU HERE AGAIN ARE YOU STALKING US!" Pit screamed from one of the seats.

"KOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNIIIIIICHIWAAAAA MINNA-SAAAAAAN~~!" You already know who this is at this point.

"PEACH! WHY ARE YOU LITERALLY EVERYWHERE WE GO SERIOUSLY!" Palutena screamed.

"Shut up mom! Why can't you leave me and my girlfriend alone!" Dark Pit screamed,

"Because she's a fucking weeaboo who took over Bed Bath & Beyond!" She replied to her rebellious son, who she was extremely disappointed in.

Captain Falcon looked at everyone confused, "SOOO…...What's going on, I literally just joined the team." he asked Villager and Waluigi.

Villager sighed, "It's kind of a long story? But maybe I can explain in time. Basically Peach and Dark Pit dating is kind of taboo because Peach took over Bed Bath & Beyond, AKA Palutena's home planet, and she's a weeaboo. Now if you're wondering why we're here, it's because yesterday Chrom fucked Shulk and Meta Knight and now there's probably a kid involved? I don't fucking know." She explained to the captain.

"Jeez, why is everyone in here so weird….?" Captain Falcon cringed, Villager and Waluigi nodded in agreement.

"HEY EVERYONE YOU'RE WATCHING... THE MAURY SHOW!" everyone heard from a giant speaker in front of the room.

"HEY GUYS SHUT UP THE MOVIES STARTING!" Pit said, grabbing popcorn from who knows where, and everyone sighed.

"Pit this isn't a movie, this is _real life_." Viridi said, being deep like the hipster she was.

Doc Louis appeared on the stage suddenly and Little Mac literally almost had a heart attack. "DOC! IS THAT YOU! I LOVE YOU DOC!" he shouted from the back row.

"OH MY GOSH MAC YOU LOOK SO GOOD IT'S BEEN SO LONG I LOVE YOU TOO!" Doc Louis said, on live T.V., and all the camera lakitu sighed from secondhand embarrassment. Little Mac was crying. Doc Louis coughed, "ANYWAYS, hey everyone! Welcome to the Maury Show! Today we'll be discussing our guest Chrom's problem with having sex with everyone he sees. Come on out guys!" He said. Chrom, Sumia, Lucina, Cynthia, Lissa and Owain all walked onto the set and sat down,

Dark Pit and co. all waved to Lucina, who looked away embarrassed. Cordelia, Severa, and... Roy? were all watching from backstage.

"He's so _BEAUTIFUL_ …..You see him? That's your father kids. Look at him isn-" Cordelia was interrupted by her reluctant daughter,

"Ugh mom, shut up they might hear us! God you're so embarrassing!" She groaned.

Everyone in the room could hear the arguing….Doc Louis sighed, "So what brings you all here today?" He asked the family. Sumia started to sob again,

"W-well…...I think my husband is…..A SEX ADDICT." She said.

"Hey! I am NOT a sex addict!" Chrom defended himself,

"And what makes you think that?" Doc Louis asked the crying woman, ignoring Chrom.

"H-he keeps making future kids…...and today I learned that he probably made another! So I want to know just how much he's made!"

Lucina looked nearly dead and stared at Dark Pit. "KILL. ME." she whispered under her breath to her emo friend.

"OKAY WHATEVER SUMIA YOU ARE MEAN TO ME, YOU INSULT ME, YOU DON'T APPRECIATE ANYTHING THAT I-" Chrom shouted, being interrupted by Doc, again.

"Can we call all the people that Chrom has fucked onto the stage please?" He asked.

Suddenly many people walked onto the stage, there was Shulk, Meta Knight, Mikau, Cordelia, Yoshi, Bowser, Robin, Ike Cena, Olivia, Maribelle, Sully, and even the virtual diva Hatsune Miku herself was on the set. "Omg! It's Miku!" Peach squealed from the audience, Dark Pit sighed at his weeaboo girlfriend, he was on his phone looking up lyrics for the newest MCR song.

"Wait... ROBIN-SAN?! Ohhhhh you musuko of a BITCH you've got some explaining to do." Peach whispered angrily, but back to the show,

"Well Chrom, you certainly have a diverse taste." Doc Louis commented,

"What can I say, I'm a man of substance." Chrom smirked.

"That wasn't a compliment!" Doc Louis snapped at him.

"Chrom….we want to help you with your addiction…" Lissa said to her brother,

"Fuck you Lissa, I'm not addicted to sex! Quit slut shaming me! " Chrom shouted, everyone on the stage shook their head and sighed.

"Chrom, there isn't a problem with you having a lot of sex, what is the problem is that you're cheating on your wife and now you have a shit ton of kids because of it!" Doc Louis explained.

"Wait, what kids?" Chrom asked, Doc Louis sighed AGAIN, "Bring out the kids guys." He said to the staff, They nodded and opened the door to the backstage, all of the present and future kids walked onto the set, and the potential parents went to go sit down.

There was Severa and Roy, the Yoshi Kid from Paper Mario, Morgan,Priam, all of the Koopalings, Kaito, Kjelle, Inigo,and Ruto. Sumia began to cry at the number of children on the stage, just how many people had Chrom fucked?! Lucina was simply shocked at how many other smashers were her siblings.

"Alright folks, I'm sure you're all very curious about which kid is yours…." Doc Louis began,

"YEAH I KINDA FORGOT WHICH ONE IS MINE!" Ike shouted from the audience interrupting him,

"Oh yeah, that's me, hey dad." Priam said.

"S-son…..I finally found you!" Ike began to tear up a bit, before running onto the stage to hug his long lost son.

"Yes yes, very heartwarming SIT THE FUCK DOWN IKE!" Doc Louis screamed at the bara, Ike sadly went to go back down.

"You know, I'm pretty curious about which one is ours." Shulk whispered to Meta Knight, he groaned. Suddenly they all heard arguing from behind the set again,

"I'm not going up, they can't find out yet!" A familiar voice was heard, "Wait is that…?" Palutena gasped, someone else was finally pulled onto the stage by another person. It was….ROSALINA?! Everyone is the audience gasped, Rosie was from the future?

"WHAT!" Palutena shouted, and suddenly another girl who looked almost identical to Rosalina stepped on stage.

"If I have to go up, so do you, Rosalina." The tall girl smirked.

"Wait, why are there TWO Rosalinas?!" Chrom questioned,

The second Rosalina sighed, "I'm not Rosalina, I'm Cynthia."

Fire Emblem Cynthia glared at her father. "ANOTHER Cynthia?! REAL creative DAD!"

"Leave me alone Cynthia!" Chrom cried,

"WHICH ONE! ! " both Cynthia's shouted.

"Alright, you know what, this isn't gonna fucking work, blonde Cynthia you're being called Dark Rosalina now okay, sorry I don't make the rules." Chrom said while shaking his head.

"Ugh whatever." Dark Rosalina sighed and went to go stand next to the other future kids.

"Hey don't feel too bad about the whole name thing, turns out there's ANOTHER Roy too!" Roy Koopa whispered to Pokémon Cynthia.

"Jeez, I'm embarrassed to even be related to this man. I guess I should call my brother up now."

The blonde Cynthia called star Pokémon onto the stage, "LUCARIO GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!" she screamed, Lucario walked onto the set,

"Oh hey, a family reunion?" He asked his sister.

"Of sorts." She replied.

"DAD YOU FUCKED A POKÉMON?!" Lucina screamed.

"Yeah, it was another Lucario but he's dead now, so..." Chrom said nonchalantly.

"Do you even CARE? YOU MONSTER!" Sumia shrieked and began to cry violently,

"WAIT! Isn't that OUR Lucario?!" Viridi and Sheik, only a few the members of the Tilly's gang, shouted. Lucario sighed and waved to his skater friends.

"So is Rosalina part Pokémon too?" Chrom asked,

"No! And shouldn't you know what your kids are considering the people you've fucked!" Rosalina snapped at her long-lost father. She then looked around nervously, now everyone knew she was a future kid, and it was only a matter of time before her other parents would find out about her now.

"Alright alright calm down, everyone who already knows who their parents are can go, the rest of you need to stay." Doc Louis said to the kids.

Priam, Severa, Roy,Kjelle, Inigo, and all of the Koopalings left the set. Rosalina took this as her chance and tried to get away,

"ROSALINA GET YOUR ASS BACK UP HERE!" her evil doppelganger, Pokémon Cynthia screamed.

"HEY WHAT THE FUCK QUIT COPYING MY ACT!" Dark Pit screamed from the audience.

"CAN WE JUST BRING OUT THE DAMN DNA TESTS ALREADY!" Doc Louis yelled, he was done with this shit. Doctor Mario walked onto the set and gave Doc Louis the sheets.

"UMMMM HELLOOOO WHAT'S MY EX DOING HERE!? I'M SUING-DESU." Peach screamed from the audience.

"YOU FUCKING WEEABOO THIS ISN'T YOUR SHOW HERE!" Doc shouted.

Little Mac went up to the stage to give Doc Louis a hug. "You aren't you when you're hungry. Here, have a Snickers." he said to Doc, giving him a bar of one of his favorite chocolates.

Doc cried and gave Mac $1,000 for his great job at advertising. "That belt looks good on you, son." Louis said dramatically.

"Wait, why do we need DNA tests?" Lucina asked, "Can't we just check everyone to see if they have the exalt mark?" She added.

"This is the Maury show hun, it wouldn't be the same if we didn't have DNA tests." Doc Louis explained,

"Makes sense I guess…" the princess shrugged. And now it was everyone's favorite part of the show, finding out the biological parents.

"Alright we've already taken up enough time so let me make this quick." Doc Louis said, "Yoshi Kid, your dad is Yoshi, Kaito, your mom is Miku, Ruto, your dad is Mikau, Morgan your dad is Robin, Cynth- I mean Dark Rosalina and Lucario, your dad is….Lucario, actual Rosalina your dad is...Billy Mays? Wait...Isn't he y'know...dead? Well he was a great man, either way." Doc Louis stated, while tearing up.

Shulk looked at the kids, something just didn't make sense! Why didn't _he_ get a kid too even though he also did Chrom! And where the hell was that Kingdom Hearts o.c since it looked almost exactly like him! He got up from his seat and walked up to the stage to ask all these questions, but was then interrupted,

"Wait, before the show ends can we do the...y'know...the thing?" Chrom winked at Doc Louis,

"CHROM I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE YOU, YOU HAVE SOME FUCKING PROBLEMS IF YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST ASK SOMEONE TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU ON LIVE TV!" Doc Louis roared at the prince.

"What no? I was talking about the 'you _ARE_ the father' thing...I'm not that addicted to sex!" He cried.

"Well at least he finally admits it..." Doc sighed, "Chrom...you _ARE_ the father!" He gave in,

"Shit!" Chrom screamed and ran away with the camera lakitu chasing after him, everyone stared.

"Dad you fucking idiot..." Lucina said quietly, Doc Louis sighed and turned to Sumia,

"So Sumia, when did you discover Chrom's addiction?" He asked the wife,

She sniffled, "W-well it was just about a few months after I had given birth to my two little angels," She gestured to Cynthia and Lucina, who both looked away embarrassed, "Chrom had been acting distant, and secretive, so one day when I was feeling better, I decided to follow him to his work...but when I got there, he was in a conveniently placed bedroom, having sex with a dinosaur!" She cried, Yoshi waved to the camera and winked deviously like the little shit he was.

"First it was normal humans, then he moved onto reptiles, then fish, robots, pokémon and now its aliens!" Sumia broke down into tears, "And I couldn't say anything, I didn't want the girls to grow up without a father!"

Lissa hugged her crying sister-in-law, "I'm so sorry Sumia..." She said, trying to comfort her.

"You poor woman..." Doc Louis looked at Sumia with pity, Chrom had returned to his seat, Shulk took this as his chance,

"Hey wait, where the hell is our kid?!" he asked, while going up onto the stage,

"Hey you never called me back!" Chrom said to the sexy alien,

"I never got your number? ANYWAYS like I said, why does everyone else have a kid but us!" Shulk questioned the blueberry prince,

"I-I don't know!" Chrom gasped,

"Hm...something doesn't match up here, Sumia, you said Chrom fucked everything from normal humans, reptiles, then fish, robots, pokémon and aliens, correct?" Doc Louis clarified,

"That's about right..." She replied,

"Did he...ever fuck any infomercial actors?" Doc Louis asked again,

"No...not that I remember?" Sumia thought back on it

The TV host then eyed Rosalina suspiciously, "Rosalina, did you LIE to us?!" He screamed at her,

"W-what No! Billy Mays is my father! It's true!" Rosalina claimed,

"Really? Because lets look at the facts, you're blonde, Shulk is blonde, you're a snuggie fanatic and slightly emo, Meta Knight is a snuggie fanatic and slightly emo, you wear your hair over your other eye which is PRETTY suspicious if you ask me, and you're from outer space." Doc Louis layed down the cold hard truth.

"Hmm...yeah I never remember doing Billy Mays..." Chrom commented,

Pokémon Cynthia cackled, "I can't believe Rosie is part blueberry!" Her brother Lucario sighed at her rudeness, "Cynthia you're part pokémon, you're _hardly_ one to talk." He said, Cynthia glared at him but said nothing.

Rosalina sighed, "Okay FINE, yes I'm their kid. Mystery solved! I have three dads and none of them are Mario characters."

Palutena gasped "This is just like Mama Mia!" she referenced one of her favorite musicals,

Dr. Mario sat next to her just as she said it, "I love that movie! Meryl Streep is such a good actress." He said to her,

"Please, I'm talking about the REAL DEAL Dr. Mario, you know, the Broadway musical?" The goddess stared at him disappointedly, Dr. Mario sighed and walked away, maybe he could talk to someone else who wasn't a complete elitist.

"Okay whatever, Chrom as punishment we're taking away your bishie-ness that makes people want to have sex with you." Doc Louis said, "Bring out the guy!" He said to the staff, suddenly someone walked in from backstage, it was…...Ness! But this wasn't ordinary Ness, it was Ness but...anime?

"Shit, another weeaboo?" Palutena and Sheik groaned at the same time, they then turned to each other and fist-bumped for sharing the same distaste for anime scum. Peach glared at the two from the row above.

"You baka-gaijins...I'll make you pay for making fun of us weeaboos...right after I finish this level in Project Mirai DX desu!" Peach muttered as she bit into her handkerchief and tugged, like those posh girls in anime.

Bishie Ness walked up to Chrom menacingly, "H-hey what are you doing get away from me!" Chrom screamed at the child, as it walked up to him and grabbed him, like a redead in Ocarina of Time, except from the front and not from behind.

"Okey" Bishie Ness said and touched Chrom on his forehead, he was absorbing Chrom's bishie-ness!

"NO NOT MY BISHIE-NESS! HELP ME LUCINA!" Chrom screeched as his sex-god powers were stripped away from him, but she didn't listen, the light coming from the two bishies then slowly faded away, and Chrom passed out on the floor.

"Okey" Ness said again before leaving, "Thanks little dude." Doc Louis complimented him as he went along with merry way.

Chrom slowly got up from the ground, groaning from slight pain, and everyone gasped, it was still Chrom...but _not anime._

Sumia looked at her husband in shock, "Chrom...I'm sorry but...if you aren't an anime anymore, you can't be in Fire Emblem."

"WHAT! SINCE WHEN IS THAT A RULE?" He hollered,

Owain looked at him, "Uh, since forever?" He said,

"Oh hey Owain, I forgot you were even here!" Chrom said to his nephew, the blonde sighed.

"Well it's about time for us to go folks, so let's end it here. Goodnight everyone! See you next week!" Doc Louis said to the audience,

"GOODNIGHT DOC I LOVE YOU!" Little Mac screamed as his once-coach now TV host left the set.

Chrom lay down on the floor and cried for days. First he lost his bishie-ness to Bishie Ness, and now his job too? Sumia and the rest of his family looked down at him nonchalantly, and then walked away.

"Hey, it'll be okay Chrom..." Shulk comforted the crying prince, "Just because you're not an anime anymore doesn't mean you can't get another job...!"

"S-Shulk...will you still love me even though I'm no longer an anime and beautiful?" Chrom sobbed,

Shulk gasped at the question, "Of COURSE I will!" He shouted determinedly,

"A-and what about Meta and Rosie? Will they love me too?" Chrom sniffled as he looked over to the two snuggie fanatics, they were now both wearing matching sweaters that were the color of shamwows, and they both said ' _Only Happy when it Rains._ ' It was kind of emo.

"That's…..kind of adorable, I like emos….." The blue dad said shyly about his blueberry lover and daughter.

The father-daughter duo glared at Blue dad, "We are NOT emo, don't even try comparing us to those Hot Topic fakes!" The beachball and the space princess shouted at him.

"What the FUCK we're not FAKES! The only FAKES here are you Snuggie fuckers, Tilly's Losers, Meme Loving Fucks and Pit! Especially Pit!" Dark Pit screamed.

" _HOW DARE YOU INSULT THE SNUGGIE! WE'LL MAKE YOU EAT THOSE WORDS!_ " The entire Snuggie Fanclub yelled at the emo, with CDI-Link adding a "Golly!" at the end.

Pittoo smirked, "You won't even get the chance, c'mon Peach let's get out of here, we've got some stuff to do." He said to his weeaboo girlfriend,

"Hai! Anata wa sugoi, Pittoo-kun!" Peach giggled as she wrapped her arm around her bf and they flew away.

Palutena growled, "Peach you fucker….first you take my store, then my sister, and now my son?"

"Who knows what they're planning now, whenever we try something, they always do something even worse!" Villager sighed,

Sheik and Viridi walked up to the Meme Team, "Yes, but you did manage to take out one of their bases, the Sanrio store." Sheik said to them.

"Yeah, we were gonna do that actually, but I guess you two beat us to it." Viridi shrugged.

Palutena looked at her group suspiciously, "What exactly did you guys do?" She asked.

"Well….We kind of blew up the Sanrio store…" Villager confessed,

"IT WAS PIT'S IDEA!" Dedede quickly added in, the angel glared at him.

Both Palutena and Captain Falcon gasped, "That was YOU guys?!"

The goddess glared at her son, "Pit…"

"Yes mommy?" He shyly looked at her gaze,

"I….couldn't be more proud of you!" She squealed, and hugged the entire group.

"Oh wait! Palutena before we forget, We also have a new cheer!" Captain Falcon interrupted,

"Um….why are you here?" She asked, "Aren't you one of my ex's?"

The captain blinked, "Huh?"

"Yeah I remember you, _Douglas._ You complained when I friendzoned you, so I married your dad, Ganondorf! Of course, that made him _my_ daddy then ;) Oh but, I miss my Ganny-wanny..." The goddess remembered and teared up a bit.

" _MOM!_ " The entire group screamed,

"That's not how it went at all…...ANYWAYS, let's show her the cheer guys." Captain Falcon coughed,

"Hell yeah let's do it!" Pit cheered,

" _WHAT DID YOU SAY PIT!"_ Palutena screamed,

"Uh, I mean Skyworld yeah! Let's just do the cheer already!" He yelped,

The group sighed and got into position, and waited…..and waited…and waited.

"Shulk isn't this is your part…..? SHULK?" Villager looked around, the sexy alien wasn't even there!

"Where the fuck is Shulk! This entire routine is _RUINED!_ " Captain Falcon cried, they all then saw him on the stage of the Maury show hugging his two new boyfriends and future daughter.

"Dude…...didn't they meet like _yesterday?"_ Villager muttered,

Dedede sighed, "It's love kid, you wouldn't get it. Just leave him be." His big blue desu eyes were sparkling, he was proud.

"Can we go now?" Pit asked since they clearly weren't doing anything at this point.

"UGH fine." his goddess madré sighed, she then pulled out her staff and warped them all out of the studio (without Shulk though.)

* * *

The group was teleported to their other house, the fucking mall. Palutena was trying to figure out a new store for her and her beloved memechildren to stay at.

Suddenly, it hit her, "Hey you guys know about Spencer's right?"

"Oh nooooo no no no we are NOT staying in that dildo infested hellhole." Her angel son protested. Palutena sighed and dragged Pit by the ear like she was in the Pokémon anime and they went to Spencer's, they walked up to the store but it was closed? Then a light shined on all of them!

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE YOU FUCKERS!" Someone screamed, it was…Paul Blart, the mall cop!

"Uh…" The entire team went like a bunch of jokers, as Shulk would say, but he wasn't fucking THERE.

"The mall is closed you meddling kids, get out of my MALL! !" He screamed at them, while rushing over on his segway to run the team over,

Suddenly, Bowser knocked Paul Blart out cold with a giant dildo! "Shut up!" He screamed at the passed out cop.

"Oh hey, thanks Bowser." Dedede said to his villain friend.

"Hey, whaddya guys want." The giant turtle turned to them.

"Oh hey we were wanting to know if we could stay here and represent the meme team." Palutena asked.

"Wait the MEME TEAM?! I love you guys, can I join?"

"Do you have a meme?" The goddess asked him,

"Well people draw weird fetish art of me on Miiverse all the time, does that count?" The edgy turtle dad asked.

"Sure. Shulk and Pit and I all get that too." Palutena said to him,

"Oh also by contract this makes you rivals with the Emos and the Weeaboos. And not like Gary and Ash rivals. like LEGIT rivals, like you hate each other with all your guts and you want to kill them" She added,

"Thats what ive always wanted, I hate those edgy kiddos these days, they're a bad influence on Jr!"

"And living in a store filled with lewd products isn't?" Villager muttered under her breath, Waluigi just shook his head.

"HONEY DINNERS READY!" Everyone heard from the back room.

"Oh sorry that's my wife, Miyamoto. Do you guys wanna come with inside with me?" the turtle asked.

"...Sure." They all said, Villager was gagging again, she saw a giant poster of a naked Ike Cena from inside the store.

The memes all went inside to enjoy a nice late-night meal made by Miyamoto himself, accompanied by Bowser and their weird son, Bowser Jr. Also their daughter, Kyary Pamyu Pamyu, who was also against weeaboos. They decided to discuss their future plans. But suddenly Peach was the subject around the whole room.

"Hey is it just me or was Peach way different a while back? Like I never talked to her too much but she seems way crazier than before." Dedede recalled,

"OHHH PEACH, I remember Peach, I used to kidnap her all the time back in the day." Bowser smiled, the mention of Peach brought a frown to Miyamoto's face, everyone else was weirded out because this dudes got like 8 kids and works in a Spencer's and used to kidnap their weeaboo rival all the time, but anyways,

"Yeah, now that I think about it, ever since she started hanging out with Jigglypuff and Marth, she started acting like a weeaboo!" Pit exclaimed, "That was about a couple years ago, huh…..I was a baby back then, right?"

"Yup, that was around the Melee days, ah I remember those times…" Bowser began to daydream about the gamecube game.

"Yeah but, I wonder what made those three weeaboos?" Captain Falcon wondered,

"Well, Marth being from a Japanese exclusive game at the time was a good start." Palutena thought about it as well,

Villager looked down like she knew something, everyone looked at her suspiciously, "You guys wouldn't get it, you weren't there…." She started,

"Wah?" Waluigi asked,

"You guys weren't there in…. _THE FOURTH GRADE_." She began.

* * *

SOOOOO My laptop has the lifespan of a housefly divided by ten, so that's why this took forever to write. But hey, the Meme Team got two new members shich means I have to edit the cover AGAIN. And I mean, Rosalina who would've guessed it everyone thought it was Mario and Peach who were her parents? Nah, its Chrom, Shulk and Meta Knight. But who was the so-called Kingdom Hearts o.c? And what happened between Peach and Villager in the fourth grade before Melee and every other smash tournament? And will this fanfiction stop being a blatent rip-off of everything ever to exist? Those questions will all be answered in...chapter 8 and the following chapters as the meme team takes on the MALL. Next time however, its about the emos for once! Yay...

Also someone should write a fanfiction about the Snuggie Fanclub and their infomercial shenanigans, I'm just saying.

-magicegg


	7. The Emo Club Meeting

It was the year of 2010, the very year when shitty memes like the Troll song, Keanu Reeves, and Rage comics were gaining popularity. It was also the year of animes like Angel Beats, Heartcatch PreCure, Panty & Stocking, and Elfen Lied as well. But most importantly, it was the year of the fourth grade for several smashers. Who were these smashers exactly? And exactly what happened this very year that would be so important today?

Peach walked into the fourth grade classroom, her fellow classmates all waving at her smiling.

"Hi Peach!" A blue haired girl waved to the princess.

"Hi guys!" She greeted her friends cheerfully, while going to sit down at her seat. The bell was about to ring when two pink haired weeaboo looking villagers walked into the room.

Peach waved to the two as they walked over "Hey guys! Sit by me!" she called over to the twins.

"Konnichiwa Peachi-san!" The taller of the two twins said to the princess.

"What's up fucker." The shorter villager greeted her.

The teacher, Mrs. Li, otherwise known as Chun Li from Street Fighter, glared at the child, " _Ai!_ What did I say about using that language in our class!?"

The girl sighed, "That it's not appropriate…."

"Exactly, now do your bellwork." Mrs. Li said to the three girls.

"Yes Mrs. Li…." They all said at once.

Peach however, just couldn't focus on doing the work, especially not when there was a bad boy sittin' across the classroom, playing on his Nintendo DSi, she sighed dreamily, just who was that boy you ask? Pittoo obviously, who else?

Ai's twin then cleared her throat, trying to get the princess's attention.

"Peach-chan, let's do our bell work, ne?" She told her.

"I dunno Yuno, he's just so…..cute…." Peach swooned,

Ai sighed in frustration, "I'm trying to do my bellwork here, save your thirst for later guys!" She hissed at the two, they looked at her surprised and got started on the work before Chun Li could yell at them again.

Peach tried focusing on her bellwork, but her mind kept going back to that boy...

"Alright class, its time to watch some Bill Nye!" Chun Li exclaimed, all of the children cheered.

" _BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL!_ " Ai chanted.

"Yes, yes I know you're all excited." Chun Li pushed in a TV cart with ease, and put on Bill Nye the Science Guy.

* * *

Before they knew it, it was lunch time. Ai opened her lunch box as she sat down at a lunch table next to Peach,

"Fuck yeah, mom packed the gushers." She whooped, Yuno soon sat down after, looking like she had something to say to Princess Peach.

"Peach-san…." Yuno said to the princess, looking her in the eyes.

"Oh what is it Yuno?" Peach asked while drinking a capri sun,

Yuno sighed, "I know you have feelings for Pittoo-kun, I know he makes your kokoro go doki-doki….but, I also share the same kimochi for him!" She declared,

Peach gasped, but then stared Yuno back in the eyes, "B-but, I love him! I need him!" she cried.

Ai rolled her eyes, "Why don't you guys….I dunno, ask him who he likes more?" she stared at the two of them, clearly done with their shit.

"That's a GREAT IDEA! Come on Yuno, let's go ask him!" Peach grabbed the weeaboo's hand along with her capri sun and walked over to the edgy table across the lunchroom.

Sitting at the table were the young angel twins Pit and Dark Pit, also sitting with them were young Lucina, Mewtwo, and Kirby surprisingly.

"Pit what the FUDGE do you want!" Dark Pit yelled at his twin while simultaneously using fourth grade swear words.

"Just look at this funny meme I saw!" Pit tried showing his edgy twin a rage comic on his phone that he somehow got even though he was like, 10.

"This shit isn't funny! And why the heck is there a preschooler sitting here!" Young Dark Pit screamed, pointing at Kirby who was just minding his own damn business.

"Fuck you fake bitch poyo." Kirby said. He was hardcore. Dark Pit started to yell at him for like a really long time, but Kirby was ignoring him and eating his fruit roll-up.

"Uh, hey, Pittoo? We gotta ask you something..." Peach said, shyly.

" _ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME YOU LITTLE-_ " he was still yelling at Kirby but got interrupted by the princess. "Oh, yeah, what's up. And don't call me Pittoo!" he sighed.

The two girls blushed, "Well….we want to know who you like more…." Peach and Yuno said at the same time, Dark Pit looked at them confused.

"Well, if I HAD to pick..."

Peach and Yuno looked at the emo in anticipation.

"I'd have to say Peach. You're kind of a weeb, Yuno. Plus Peach brings capri suns everyday." Dark Pit finally answered.

Yuno was PISSED. "Fine! You can have Pittoo-kun, Toadstool-SAN. But listen here, me and Ai are NOT your tomodachi desu!" Yuno screamed.

"Honestly bitch I'm not gonna stay with you, you're SO annoying bye." Ai said to her sister, Yuno gasped as tears began to form in her eyes, she then ran away from the lunch room and out of the school.

"Yuno wait!" Peach cried out, but it was too late, the pink haired girl was gone.

"Ugh, I'll go after her." Dark Pit sighed, and after that day, nothing would ever the same.

* * *

"Peach! HEY PEACH!" Someone was screaming at the princess, Peach snapped out of her thoughts and looked around, it wasn't 2010 anymore. She was standing in front of Hot Topic at the mall, where Dark Pit stared at her,

"N-nani?" She said, confused.

"We gotta go inside before that fat fuck Paul Blart catches us, so come on!" The edgy angel said to her as he grabbed her hand and went inside.

Despite it being early in the morning, and the mall still being closed, Hot Topic was still alive and well. The center of the store had been cleared away, like there was going to be a meeting.

Shadow Link appeared out of corner, "Oh hey Pittoo." He said to the emo,

Dark Pit glared at him, "SHADOW LINK! WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN!" he screamed, still angry at him for ditching the party a few nights ago.

The edgy Link shrugged, "Around."

Peach smiled at Shadow Link, "Konnichiwa Dark Rinku-kun!"

Shadow Link sighed in frustration, "For the last time, I'm not Dark Link! I'm Shadow Link! You know, from the Four Swords manga? You should know considering you're a weeaboo fuck."

"Shut the _FUCK_ up Shadow Link You aren't even a canon character! Don't talk to my girlfriend like that!" Dark Pit yelled at him.

Lucina put down her phone and slammed her fist on the table. " _GUYS!_ That's ENOUGH we get it, you're all fucking idiots! The meetings gonna start."

Dark Pit and Peach sighed and stood in the middle of the seated area, all of the emos and weeaboos were present. Among the emos were Shadow Link, Lucina, Mewtwo, a Bloodedge the Minion plush for some reason, Shadow the Hedgehog, Kirby, and a passed-out Raiden.

"Ugh can someone wake up Raiden?" Pittoo sighed, Shadow the Hedgehog nodded and threw the edgy minion plush at the passed out dude, waking him up.

Sitting next to the emos were the weeaboos, Jigglypuff, Marth, Robin, Toon Link, Gaius and Chef Kawasaki. They were all staring at their two leaders.

"So….. _WHY THE FUCK IS ROBIN AND HIS SHITTY SUPERWHOLOCKIAN ASS DOING IN HERE!_ " Lucina finally yelled.

Robin gasped, "Oh no you DIDN-"

"SHUT UP!" Dark Pit screamed, "We're all here because….I've decided to ally with Peach and her weeaboo ass squad." he explained.

Marth gasped. " _IIE!_ I know you're her boyfriend, but we... need her..." he started crying

"Minna-san! Daijoubu, the emos will help us now!" Peach smiled while giving her VP the evil eye.

"But Peach….we already took over the shopping center! Why do we need _their_ help?" Toon Link asked, while glaring at the emos.

"BECAUSE I'M THE FUCKING LEADER TOON LINK- _KOUHAI!_ AND WHAT I SAY GOES DESU!" She screamed at him, the emos looked at the weeaboo leader in shock.

"Uh Peach, maybe you should like, calm down….have a capri sun." Shadow Link nervously handed the princess a pouch.

"Respect it." he said and started laughing uncontrollably, then a cricket started chirping.

"ANYWAYS…...I've decided to ally with Peach because, one, I'm her fucking boyfriend, and two, those Tilly's losers have taken over the entire mall!" Dark Pit explained angrily.

" _NANI?!_ How many other stores do they have?!" Jigglypuff gasped.

"The Tilly's Gang has established dominion over Tilly's obviously, but they also own other stores like Zumiez, Vans, Pac-Sun, Hurley, and Sheikh because of their leader Sheik, whereas we only have Hot Topic and…. _Claire's_." Mewtwo said to the weeaboo pokemon.

"Uh, why do we own Claire's again?" Lucina asked,

Dark Pit cringed, "Oh gods, don't mention Claire's, that's scene kid HELL…."

Speaking of scene kid hell…." _OHHHHHHH PTOOEY, WE'RE HERE!_ " Someone suddenly walked in singing,

"DAVID BOWIE?!" Robin and Toon Link gasped.

It was….. _Hades and the Smexi Scenes!_

"Shit. Shit, Shit! You just HAD to mention Claire's didn't you Mewtwo!" Dark Pit yelled at the edgy bara pokemon, Mewtwo shrugged.

"Why didn't you invite us! This meeting seems uber rad!" Hades whined while sipping on a pouch of Kool-Aid.

"Its because you and your 'Sexy Scene' group aren't even REAL emos. You're all just a bunch of unpopular Kid Icarus reject characters and other rip-offs! Plus you don't even drink Capri Suns, you all drink that Kool-Aid shit." Dark Pit retorted. Shadow Link winced at that last part.

"That's the _Smexi Scenes_ to you, Ptooey." Hades snapped his finger in a Z formation, Dark Pit rolled his eyes.

"So if you aren't David Bowie and his group of goblins…..who are you guys?" Toon Link questioned,

"I told you, it's just a bunch of unpopular Kid Icarus characters and some other guys I hired to keep the preps out of Claire's!" Dark pit shook his head, explaining.

The Smexi Scenes then all got into a formation, with Blood on the Dancefloor playing in the background. "WE ARE…... _THE SMEXI SCENES_! RAWR! That means I love you in dinosaur." Most of them yelled.

"HADES! THE SMEXI LEADER!"

"Iggy Koopa! I love Invader Zim lawl!"

"PYRRHON TEH SUN GOD!"

"GALACTA KNIGHT! THE HOT PINK ASSHOLE!"

The scenes all stared at the last member, Dark Lord Gaol. She sighed and reluctantly did her cheer.

"Gaol, the poser…..rawr." she said, unenthusiastically.

Peach narrowed her eyes at Gaol, reminding her of a _certain_ ex-member of the weeaboos.

"Hmph! Nani do you want desu ka?!" The princess questioned the scenes.

"Well since we ARE owned by the emos, we wanted to help you guys!" Iggy Koopa exclaimed.

" _YOU GUYS_ aren't helping us with shit! _YOUR_ responsibility is to watch over Claire's!" Dark Pit barked at him.

"What if we told you we have some dirt on not only the Tilly's Gang, but some other teams as well?" Gaol suggested.

"...I'm listening."

"Well, the word around town is that Chrom's been going around having a lot of sex with people." The Dark Lord said.

"Um, yeah we already knew that Gaol." Robin mentioned.

Lucina glared at the Superwholock, "YEAH, YOU WOULD KNOW CONSIDERING YOU'RE ONE OF THE PEOPLE WHO HAD SEX WITH HIM, YOU NERD FUCK!"

"It was one time! Please don't tell Zelda!" The Superwholock cried.

 _"I wasn't finished!_ Apparently after he had his threesome with the Meme Team's Shulk, and the Snuggie Fanclub's Meta Knight, Chrom went and did it with Mario and Sonic! IN THE SAME BED." Gaol continued.

"Okay but what the fuck does this have to do with us." Dark Pit sighed,

"Well I did happen to get a sex tape that weeaboo Lana and her sisters Cia and Lisia happened to be handing out after the event, perhaps we could watch-"

"Okay, you know what Gaol you fucking poser, just…...sit down, you aren't helping." The pink bol, Galacta Knight snapped. The Dark Lord sighed and went to sit down in one of the back rows of seats.

"But Gally! That sex tape sounds totally smexi!" Pyrrhon cried, his eyeliner began to run, the cherry rolled his eyes at the human torch.

"Shut the eff up Pyrrhon, you're practically a poser yourself!"

"AM NOT!"

"If you guys aren't here to help, then just leave already." Mewtwo sighed,

"Yeah, we're kind of in the middle of having a very important meeting to deal with those fake-emo preps!" Lucina told the scenes.

"Wait wait! We do know that the Tilly's Gang plans to take the beach, but not only that, other groups like the Meme Team and the Kawaii Krew plan to take down the Weeaboos!" Hades pleaded.

" _NANI?! THE KAWAII KREW?!_ " Peach shrieked, she had only heard about the legendary Kawaii Krew in rumors, and now they were after _her team?!_

"I'm not buying it, Mewtwo, scan 'em." Dark Pit crossed his arms.

Mewtwo rolled his eyes and began to read the scene god's mind.

"He's being honest, Dark Pit."

"Those damn Tilly's fucks! They're no better than the weeaboos…." Dark Pit cursed, Peach looked at him confused at what he meant.

"Oh, not _you_ Peach, I meant those other weeaboo fucks." Dark Pit quickly added in.

"Sou desu ka? Minna san…..the truth is…...watashi came here today because watashi has information on this group!" The weeaboo princess beamed.

A bunch of 'Whaaaaaat?!'s" and "NANI?!'s" were heard across the whole store, no one had expected _Peach_ of all people to snag information on the Tilly's Gang! She may have been a weeaboo mastermind, but she wasn't _that_ smart…...

"Haaaaiiiiiiiii! I made a powerpoint of showing all of the stats, strengths, weaknesses, and goals of the Tilly's Team! We all know about the Meme Team so that's not much of an issue, and well…..the Kawaii Krew...they seem…. _kowai_." Peach confessed.

"Well then just show us already damn it!" Lucina yelled, the weeaboo princess nodded and plugged her USB drive into Jigglypuff's laptop, which was hooked up to a projector.

"Soshite, our powerpoint will begin!" Peach announced, she clicked on a file but instead of a powerpoint presentation, it was a video?

" _OOOOHHHHH SONIC YOU'RE GOING-A TOO SLOW! JUST STICK YOUR CHILI DOG INSIDE ME ALREADY!_ " An Italian voice moaned.

" _I gotta Mario, I gotta._ " Was all the second voice said.

" _Aw yeah, I got a hedgehog in my right arm and a plumber in my left._ " Another voice said smugly.

"OH GODS THAT'S MY DAD!" Lucina shrieked.

" _UMMMM_ NANI THE FUCK IS MY EX DOING DESU!" Peach screamed bloody murder, all of the emos, scenes and weeaboos covered their ears.

"WRONG THING WRONG THING UWU!" Jigglypuff cried, she then quickly floated over to Peach and clicked on the right file.

"Mission accomplished." Pyrrhon said to Gaol, they then proceeded to fist bump.

" _IMA_ we can start minna-san." Peach smiled awkwardly, everyone nodded. She then began the presentation. Of course, the front cover was written in all Romaji and had several anime characters across it.

"So, as minna knows, the Tilly's Gang is a very large group desu!" Peach explained, "They have ni leaders, Sheik-san and Viridi-chan desu ne!"

"Okay Peach talk like a normal person you're fucking annoying as shit!" Lucina snarled.

Dark Pit sighed. "Lucina we get it, she's fucking annoying! Let's move on before she slits your throat for saying that."

"Oooh blood! Lawl!" Iggy Koopa and Hades both giggled, causing Gaol to sigh in disgust.

"Hey did you guys know I have a vore kink?" Hades told everyone in the room, they all groaned except for Kirby, he then high-fived the god of the underworld with his nub hand.

"That just reminds me of my mom with her...daddy kink." Pittoo cringed, causing all the scenes laughed at this.

"I can't believe pretty Palutena has a DADDY KINK of all things! How embarassing!" Hades scoffed as he flipped his rainbow hair extensions.

"HEY YOU DISGUSTING TEAM OF SCENE FUCKS, THAT'S MY MOM SO SHUT THE HELL UP!" Dark Pit hollered.

"So now that we know the leaders of this group desu…..nani about the members? Well, that's what I'll be showing minna today!" Peach said, she turned to the next slide. On the screen was a pheasant, a blonde barbie-like woman, a blue anubis thing, a hedgehog, a fox, a frog, and two guys who looked like pirates.

"These people are Falco-san, Samusu-san, Rucario-san, Sonikku-san, Tairusu-san, Gekkouga-san, and twins Dunban-san and Magna-san!" Peach listed.

"Could you just use their actual fucking names please you fucking weeaboo." Shadow Link sighed. The rest of the emos all nodded in agreement.

"She means Falco, Samus, Lucario, Sonic, Tails, Greninja, Dunban, and Magnus." Dark Pit explained, he then did a double take, "Wait, _MAGNUS?!_ "

"Soshite, these aren't all the members minna san, they also seem to be trying to recruit Meta Naito and his daughter Rosetta-chan!" Peach added while turning to the next slide to show who.

Galacta Knight gasped, " _Ummmmmmmmm_ ladies and gentlemen it is _OBVIOUS_ that we have a _doppelganger_ in our midst!" He yelled, while pointing at the picture of Meta Knight on the screen.

Raiden glared at the scene colored bol, "Your memes…..end here.", pointing his gun at Galacta Knight's head-body thing.

"OOOOOOOOH SHOOT HIM! That would be SOOOOO smexi!" Hades encouraged the soldier.

"What the EFF Hades! Quit being a betch!" Galacta Knight yelled,

Dark Pit sighed and took the gun away from Raiden, "Raiden, I know as much as we ALL want that fake David Bowie from Labyrinth piece of shit and his shit squad of goblins DEAD, try not to shoot any of them okay!" He ordered, trying to keep his clan under control.

"Ugh fine….but I'm going back to sleep now, don't wake me up again dipshit." Raiden snapped as he placed his head on the Bloodedge the Minion plush and fell asleep.

Lucina, Mewtwo and Shadow Link all sighed, "So what's the plan, Peach?" They asked.

"Soon, minna will begin part two of our operation, take control of the Tilly's Gang beach and skatepark as well, desu!"

"Oooh! A beach filler episode uwu!" Jigglypuff shouted, not only attempting to break the fourth wall but to make this the anime world again as well.

"Exactly Jigglypuff-tan! But instead of just ichi beach-filler episode, once we take over their beach, we'll have them all the time and not have to worry about those Tilly's bakas!" Peach exclaimed.

"Anoooo, just wondering, haven't you already taken over a beach desu ka...?" Marth asked.

"Hai! But that's aside the point desu! The beach and the skatepark is where the Tilly's gang ALWAYS hangs out at desu!" Peach explained.

"Makes sense, considering they're skaters AND surfers." Shadow Link replied.

"Plus, its sugoi that we have san groups, ichi group can deal with the beach and the other ni groups can deal with the mall and the park! Besides, since watashi has taken over a beach before, watashi has experience in these things desu!"

"Okay but _this_ beach better not get infested with those weird duck-ball things this time." Shadow Link grumbled, referencing Peach Beach from Mario Kart Double Dash.

* * *

Meanwhile at an unknown location, in an unknown time, seven unknown characters were having a meeting of their own for unknown reasons.

The seven figures were all wearing black cloaks to hide their faces, and they all sat down in their respective seats.

"Eyy guys, badda bing badda boom, did ya' deal with that _certain problem_ we had yet?" A floating head hollowgram suddenly appeared, like Zordon from Power Rangers.

"Yea, about-a that…." A short stubby figure hesitated, the floating head glared at him.

"Are you DUNCES tellin' me you failed to get rid of those pesky twins?! I can't believe this, ya' bein a bunch of IDIOTS!" The floating head groaned.

"Eh, don't worry about it boss! We'll catch those slicks in no time!" Another hooded figure wearing a party hat said encouragingly.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that, Doopliss, I fear that they and some of the others of that resistance of sorts may have escaped, I happen to know that my grandson has disappeared recently as well….." A large bara replied.

The floating head then turned to the bara, "Well _WHERE_ would they escape to, huh John? Ya' know we got eyes everywhere!"

"The only place they possibly could have gone….the past...They went to the past."

"Those idiots are trying to stop my reign huh? I bet Eggman had somethin' to do with it. Ey' Wario, get me my remote." The head ordered.

The short thick man nodded and and went to get the said remote.

"Its time to go back to 2015 fuckos." The head grinned.

* * *

Okay I may have lied when I said we wouldn't talk about the fourth grade until after we wrote the emo chapter, but I really want to write a Halloween Special and not have it be out of place in the timeline so we made some compromises.

Also this chapter is pretty much a shoutout to the Kawaii Krew, a spinoff fic of PMT. It's really funny and you guys should go read it!

Also we made a tumblr page for PMT for some reason! Send us memes.

-magicegg


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